All Hat No Cattle

Friday, September 4, 2015

TGIF?

Internet Interuptus

The god of the Internet dropped by today.

He fixed my connection temporarily.

This too shall pass for about a week.

I will post a new edition tomorrow on Saturday because I love you all so much!

Thank you for surfing over to All Hat No Cattle!

I hope I didn't scare you with that graphic but that is how I felt when I got back online today.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Trump lead in polls, Obama Laughs

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Trump hits 30 percent in new poll
Donald Trump has reached a new high in the race for the Republican presidential nomination.
According to a Monmouth University survey released on Thursday, Trump takes 30 percent support nationally, a four-point gain over the same survey from before the first GOP debate.

THE ONLY MARRIAGE LICENSES I RECOGNIZE ARE ONES BETWEEN A DYING POLITICAL PARTY AND A RACE-BAITING CANDIDATE IT'S AFRAID WILL LEAVE IT. - LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

UFC fighter Ronda Rousey accepted a Marine's invitation to the Marine Corps ball in December. When they heard Ronda Rousey was teaming up with the Marines, ISIS was like, "We surrender!"- Jimmy Fallon

Jail Time For Kentucky Krazy Klerk
Kim Davis, the Kentucky clerk who refused to issue gay marriage licenses, has been found in contempt of court and taken into federal custody.
According to AP, U.S. District Judge David Bunning said Thursday that Davis would be held in jail until she complied with the previous court orders to begin granting the marriage licenses.

#KimDavis' attorney is demanding a fullsize cross be installed in her jail cell, so she can climb up on it. - Wisco Tweet

GOP, when you find that special guy willing to ridicule & deport the families of America's fastest growing group of voters, never let him go. - LOLGOP

Republican Shenanigans

In an interview with CNN, former Vice President Dick Cheney said that he has no plans to endorse Donald Trump. When asked if he'd have a change of heart, Cheney was like, "Yes, every week."- Jimmy Fallon

Trump Dropping Out? Naw.
Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry on Thursday gave a puzzling response to Donald Trump’s assertion that he is dropping out of the presidential race.

“You know, a broken clock is right once a day,” Perry told Fox News’s Gretchen Carlson.

'Politically Correct' is the politically correct way of saying 'Less Dickish.'- John Fugelsang

Rock The Voter News

Republicans tell us no diplomacy with Iran will ever work but the way to rein in Trump is with a pledge.- Tina Dupuy

The odds of living to age 100 will double by 2020, as will the odds of having to work at a Walmart 'til you're 90.- John Fugelsang

Business/Tech News

McDonalds franchisees vote for all-day breakfast, proving that America can still do great things if we limit voting to business owners only.- Tea Party Cat

Sad News
French investigators have formally identified a washed-up piece of plane debris found in July on a remote island in the Indian Ocean as part of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, a Boeing 777 that disappeared more than a year ago with 239 people aboard.

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Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

Oh yeah, that could be me or you!

Peace.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Iran Is A Done Deal

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Obama gets Iran deal win as Senate Dems amass enough votes
President Barack Obama secured a landmark foreign policy victory Wednesday as Senate Democrats amassed enough votes to ensure the Iran nuclear deal survives in Congress, despite ferocious opposition from Republicans and the government of Israel.

JohnKerry: The people of Israel will be safer with Iran Deal. The same is true for people throughout the region.

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

Reagan would never have sunk to having his Iran arms deal approved by "Congress."- LOLGOP

Jeb Brings Out Big Guns Aimed At Trump
Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush is attacking fellow GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump’s fear of germs.

The guys who told us war with Iraq would lead to peace are now telling us that diplomacy guarantees war. It's almost as if war is the goal.- LOLGOP

Republican Shenanigans

HISTORY TRIVIA: A mountain in Alaska was called Denali until illegal immigrants renamed it Mt McKinley.Andy Borowitz

Today, Meet Trump Chump
GOP presidential front-runner Donald Trump said on Wednesday that he would enjoy playing a round of golf with President Obama for control of the Oval Office...

NBC considers rebranding "Meet the Press." Names being considered:
- The Ted Cruz Comedy Hour
- No Facts Allowed
- Chuck Todd Pet Detective - The Daily Edge

GOP fired up about “anti-police” rhetoric see no conflict in their 7 year, daily “anti-president of the united states” rhetoric- Jason Kaplan

Rock The Voter News

Tony Soprano Daycare Workers?
Two former daycare workers in North Jersey are charged with forcing children into a so-called "fight club" on the school playground.

When you say something racist and then try to justify why it's not actually racist that's called Foxplaining. - OhNoSheTwitnt

Another Climate Record Broken. Oh My.
The current El Nino weather phenomenon is expected peak between October and January and could turn into one of the strongest on record, experts from the World Meteorological Organization said at a news conference on Tuesday.

NASA Deploys Congressional Rover To Search For Funding - The Onion

Business/Tech News

I support keeping the US minimum wage at $7.25hr but only for Congress b/c those guys already live off their tips.- John Fugelsang

A lot of people are upset that our president is appearing on a reality show. A little over a year from now, we might have a president who hosted a reality show. So get used to it...You know, Donald Trump?- Jimmy Kimmel