All Hat No Cattle

Friday, May 22, 2015

A lot of Republicans who want to be president got their picture taken with a child molester

A lot of Republicans who want to be president got their picture taken with a child molester
The Republican Party is currently firming up plans for their 2016 Presidential debates; attempting to figure out how to fit possibly 70 candidates onto one stage in a way that it doesn’t make them look like a gospel choir — only all white.

Another self-righteous Christian is discovered to be a deviant. Molesting kids is ok, but god forbid a loving gay couple marry.

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

The GOP has decided that their best hope is to run against George W. Bush's war and George W. Bush's economy with George W. Bush's brother.- LOLGOP

So How's Afghanistan Doing?
The Afghan government has enlisted hundreds of militia fighters controlled by local commanders to battle Taliban militants near the northern city of Kunduz, officials said, underlining how the armed forces are struggling to tackle the insurgency alone.

Republican Shenanigans

"Those who oppress the poor insult their Maker.”
— Proverbs 14:31

Creepy TV Christians Cancelled
“19 Kids and Counting” is down for the count.
The network’s reported decision to take the show off the air comes after a public outcry over Josh Duggar’s admission that he molested several young girls, including possibly his sisters, when he was a teenager.

Chelsea Clinton has written a children's book titled “It’s Your World: Get Informed, Get Inspired & Get Going.” It’s a great book to read to your workaholic toddler.- Seth Myers

Rock The Voter News

Obama Still Hasn’t Figured Out How To Adjust Height Of Oval Office Desk Chair - The Onion

Bernie Sanders made around $2,000 last year for two speeches and a TV appearance, compared to the $25 million the Clintons made. Making him the first person in history to run for president just because he really needs the money.- Jimmy Fallon

California Environmental Groups Pissed!
This week's oil spill in California has become a springboard for environmental groups to attack the oil industry, with calls ranging from a ban on fracking in the Golden State to a halt to drilling in the far-flung Arctic.

House Science Committee Questions Whether Oil Spills are Man-made. - Andy Borowitz

Business/Tech News

David Letterman gone. Yet one more guy who lost his job because of Obama’s failed economic policies!- Tea Party Cat

California Oil Spill Update
The U.S. Department of Transportation has issued a corrective action order to Allied All American Pipeline over the pipeline rupture leading to this week's oil spill near Santa Barbara, California, federal safety officials said on Friday.

At least now when Republicans talk about Keystone as their jobs plan, we'll know what they mean: Oil spill clean-up. - LOLGOP

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Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

Baby Amazon Milk Frog.

Peace.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Report: NSA hijacked app stores to hack phones

Report: NSA hijacked app stores to hack phones
The National Security Agency planned to infiltrate the Google and Samsung app stores to plant spying software on smartphones, according to new documents published from files leaked by Edward Snowden.

George Stephanopoulos donating money to the Clinton Foundation is proof that Hillary had Vincent Foster killed.- Jeff Tiedrich

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

I would laugh at George Bush, but I see dead people. Thousands of them.- Kona Lowell

Cotton Defends Iraq War
In an interview published on Thursday, Sen. Tom Cotton (R-AR) declined to say whether he would have authorized the Iraq invasion given what he knows now and instead defended former President George W. Bush's decision.
"We should not be ashamed of the war we conducted in Iraq,"

Jeb:"Not a shred of evidence" anyone's civil liberties were violated by the Patriot Act. Also dismisses link between alcohol & alcoholism. - Lizz Winstead

Republican Shenanigans

Former Carly Fiorina staffer: I'd rather go to Iraq than join her campaign for Prez

Not All Republicans Jumped On The Texas Invasion Train
House Homeland Security Chairman Mike McCaul (R-TX) isn't indulging in conspiracy theories that the federal government is trying to conduct a military takeover of Texas through a training exercise.

They think being gay is a choice, but wrecking the climate is something you're born to do.- LOLGOP

Conservatives willing to put Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill if she is willing to produce valid photo ID. –LOLGOP

Rock The Voter News

Rand Paul filibustering Patriot Act on grounds that government should only spy on liberals and foreigners, not neo-Confederate militias.- Tea Party Cat

Meanwhile, In Texas
A North Texas city that a few months ago was in a drought so severe that it had to recycle sewage water for drinking ordered residents on Thursday to evacuate certain areas due to flooding.

Trading Places
President Barack Obama's trade agenda cleared a key Senate hurdle and advanced toward likely passage on Thursday despite the strong opposition of most Democrats.

Chrysler just announced that it plans to offer free college tuition to thousands of employees at dealerships across the country. Chrysler says it’s just a small way of making up for the PT Cruiser.- Jimmy Fallon

Business/Tech News

Jobless claims average lowest since 2000, lowest per capita of all time, which I'm sure GOP candidates will point out. - LOLGOP

California Water Rights Update
California farmers who hold rights to water that date back as far as the Gold Rush are bracing for their first state-ordered conservation in decades, as a record drought prompts some of the deepest cuts yet in the country's most productive agricultural state.

According to a new poll, one third of Americans believe animals deserve the same rights as people. The other two thirds have cats.- Seth Myers

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Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

Taiwan Blue Magpies.

Peace.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

North Korea says it can miniaturize nuclear weapons

North Korea says it can miniaturize nuclear weapons
North Korea said Wednesday that it has the ability to miniaturize nuclear weapons, a key step toward building nuclear missiles.

Next time our leaders talk of bringing peace and civilization to some savage foreign country, let us remember that we have biker gangs.- Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

We should remember the core problem with the Iraq War was Bush's intelligence.- Tina Dupuy

The Iraq War Messengers
As likely Republican candidates for president continue to struggle with the legacy of the Iraq War, and specifically with the question of whether they would have authorized a similar invasion if they had been president at the time, it's important to remember the media's role in the foreign policy failure. At a time of heightened patriotic fervor, the national press played a crucial role in helping to sell President George W. Bush's war to the public in 2003.

Bobby Jindal issues Executive Order to protect the Biblical definition of marriage as between a man and a woman made from one of his ribs. - The Daily Edge

Republican Shenanigans

So when do Republicans start saying the trillion-dollar tax cut that created no jobs was based on bad intelligence?- LOLGOP

Great. Another Pipeline Broken.
A broken pipeline spilled 21,000 gallons of crude oil into the ocean before it was shut off Tuesday, creating a slick stretching about 4 miles along the central California coastline, the U.S. Coast Guard said.

#BristolPalin's wedding has been canceled. The families will instead gather for a pro-life BBQ. BYOB (Bring your own bandages).- Kona Lowell

Rock The Voter News

Study: Direct Strike from Giant Asteroid Less Devastating Than Third Bush Presidency.- Andy Borowitz

Red State Abolishes Death Penalty. Yes, You Read That Correctly.
Nebraska lawmakers gave final approval on Wednesday to a bill abolishing the death penalty that would make it the first conservative state to do so since 1973 if the measure becomes law.

Hoping to quell the controversy over e-mails missing from her private account, the former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on Wednesday released twenty thousand spam e-mails she received from Old Navy.- Andy Borowitz

Business/Tech News

BREAKING: All businesses in Los Angeles flee the city after minimum wage raised to $15. Unemployment rate rises to 100%.- Tea Party Cat

U.S. Justice Dept. Fines Banks
Six of the world’s biggest banks will pay $5.8 billion and five of them agreed to plead guilty to charges tied to a currency-rigging probe as they seek to wind down almost half a decade of enforcement actions.