Just shoot me.

Here I was just zooming along putting together today's edition and WHAM. The skies opened up again and shut down my Internet access. My girlfriend called me to say that the bridge is shut down on the road to my apartment because water is flowing over it. Ay yi yi.

The good news is, I will have this edition out in the morning tomorrow.

I am so sorry for any humor inconvenience.

I send good vibes to Canada and the crisis they faced today.

Peace.

Elementary School Throws Ebola Tantrum over Two Kids from Rwanda

Elementary School Throws Ebola Tantrum over Two Kids from Rwanda
Two elementary school children are being kept from attending Howard Yocum Elementary School in New Jersey because they recently moved to the U.S. from Rwanda, prompting Ebola fears from other parents — even though Rwanda is 2,600 miles from the west African region afflicted by the Ebola outbreak.



America is making up for overreacting to Ebola by continuing our tradition of under-reacting to climate change, inequality and gun violence.- LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• 40 Are Killed in Attacks Targeting Shiites in Iraq
• Britain sends drones to fly surveillance missions over Syria
• Hong Kong Leader: We Can't Let Poor People Dominate Elections!
• India says no compromise with China on territory
• Police: Anti-Gov't Cop Killer Spotted Again In The Poconos
• WHO's emergency committee on Ebola to meet Wednesday

FOX NEWS: NO NEW EBOLA VICTIMS IS CONCRETE PROOF OBAMA IS COVERING UP NEW EBOLA VICTIMS. - LOLGOP

Rand vs Rand vs Ebola
When it comes to dealing with Ebola in the United States, former Congressman Ron Paul (R) and his son, Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), don’t see eye to eye.



Next up on Fox News: President Obama casts his ballot in Chicago, but lives in Washington. Should he be impeached for voter fraud? - Top Conservative Cat

Republican Shenanigans

• The real 47 percent: GOP candidate with a Ferrari pays no federal income taxes for third year
• Sarah Palin Reportedly Donates Only 5.5% of PAC Money to Actual Candidates
• Brace yourself. The 2016 Republican field is going to be HUGE.
• Kirk Cameron: Halloween masks mocking Obama celebrate Jesus defeating Satan
• Alabama GOP House Speaker Indicted On 23 Felony Ethics Charges
• Idaho pastors opposed to gay marriage sue city over law

Looks Like We're Going Back In Time
The likelihood of a Republican Senate takeover continues to increase with all three major election models giving the GOP at least a six in ten probability of winning the six seats the party needs to win take back control.




One more day without a new Ebola case and Fox News is going to have to infect Alan Colmes or Bob Beckel.- LOLGOP

I am not sure if this is an actual quote by Rick Perry...but it's funny!

Papa Bush Mad At Democrat Who Worked For Him
Former President George H.W. Bush released a statement Monday expressing displeasure about his cameo in one of Democratic Georgia Senate candidate Michelle Nunn's campaign ads.

In the ad, Nunn responded to her Republican opponent David Perdue's criticism of a photo of her posing with President Barack Obama by bringing up her previous work with Bush.

"It was taken at an event honoring President Bush, who I worked for as CEO of his Points of Light Foundation," Nunn said of the photo with Obama.




ISIS is smuggling ebola coated vibrators from Mexico into all the abortion clinics being built inside the public schools.- Lizz Winstead

Rock The Voter News

• Ebola among top U.S. worries but well behind economy, jobs: poll
• Disturbing Video: Prison Guards Laugh as Mentally Ill Man Dies in Front of Them (VIDEO)
• Ferguson turns into tinderbox once again after new details leaked

Rwanda Reacts To New Jersey School Banning Rwandan Kids
The east African nation of Rwanda is now screening all visitors who have traveled to the United States ...

President Obama was out playing golf today. He hit one tee shot 250 yards. Even golf balls are trying to distance themselves from him.- David Letterman

Here's how the new mobile payment system works. If you so much as even glance at an Apple product, Apple Pay automatically deducts the full amount from your checking account.- Jimmy Kimmel

Business/Tech News

• Oil Rises After Chinese Economic Growth Exceeds Forecasts
• Fed to Banks: Shape Up or Risk Breakup
• Federal Housing Finance Agency Unveils Plan to Loosen Rules on Mortgages
• U.S. national security prosecutors shift focus from spies to cyber

Whoever said "live like there's no tomorrow" probably owned a credit card company.- John Fugelsang

Irish Millionaires Increase
Despite the fact that most Irish households are still struggling with the after-effects of seven austerity budgets - not to mind the imminent imposition of water charges - soaring property prices mean that Ireland experienced one of the fastest growth rates in household wealth in the past year.




TSA Chief John Pistole announced that he is stepping down. So whoever takes his place is going to have some pretty big shoes to take off.- Jimmy Fallon

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Odd News

• Chicago man to Obama: 'Don't touch my girlfriend'
• Bryan Cranston Responds to Florida Mom's Petition Against Breaking Bad Dolls, Jokes He's Going to Burn His "Florida Mom Action Figure"
• In 1964, The Brilliant Isaac Asimov Wrote Some Predictions For 2014 — Wait Until You See How Right He Was
• Mystery space plane back on Earth
• UFO SIGHTING: Strange Objects Zipping Across The Moon
• San Fran stations ban Lorde's 'Royals'

Time To Deflate Photo

Peace.

China's attitude of Hong Kong Protesters

After clashes, Hong Kong students, government stand their ground before talks
Hong Kong students and the government stood their ground on Monday ahead of talks aimed at defusing more than three weeks of pro-democracy protests that have blocked traffic around the Chinese-controlled city, but expectations of a breakthrough were low.



U.S. Assures Hong Kong That Their Protest Just One Of Many Issues White House Staying Silent On- The Onion

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• US makes first arms drop to Syria Kurds battling for Kobane
• Australia to deploy 200 special forces in Iraq
• Sunni Arabs feel sting of discrimination in northern Iraq
• 75 killed in five days of fighting in Libya's Benghazi
• Israel's Yaalon in US after spat over Kerry remarks

I understand the raw politics of calling for an Ebola travel ban. But people have to be able to fly in and out of Texas.- LOLGOP

Kerry Looking For Support From Largest Muslim Population
 US Secretary of State John Kerry on Monday visited Indonesia, home to the world's biggest Muslim population, to press Southeast Asian nations to step up efforts in the fight against the Islamic State (IS) group.



GOP demands include an investigation into how 2 people got Ebola and absolutely no investigation into why 30,000 die a year from gun shots.- LOLGOP

Republican Shenanigans

• Ebola czar dismissed as political operative by GOP, hailed as problem solver by Dems
• Sen. Ted Cruz: Experts Be Damned, Obama Should Listen To 'Voices Of Common Sense' On Travel Ban
• Fox News priest: How can we baptize kids in same-sex families if parents are sinners?
• Tucker Carlson: It’s ‘obvious’ that black teens make neighborhoods dangerous
• GOP donor behind Americans for Shared Prosperity pitches 'Bold Agenda' for ...
• Right-Wing Media's Failed Attempt To Justify Iraq War With NY Times Chemical Weapons Report

Supremes OK Texas Messing With Their Voters
For the first time in three decades, the Supreme Court will allow a law possibly restricting voting rights to stand, at least temporarily, despite a lower federal court’s ruling to the contrary.

Texas. Where it's easier to get Ebola than it is to vote :(    - LOLGOP

The GOP is making a convincing case we must fight Ebola by electing the guys who want to leave medical research to the Duck Dynasty guys.- LOLGOP



Rock The Voter News

• Obama Speaks To Packed Rally With Overflow Crowd, Reuters Turns It Against Him
• Chicago Newspaper Endorses Republican for Governor in Obama's Home State
• U.S. Ebola czar seeks to reverse government mistakes, step up response

Cruz Delays Surgeon General Nominee 'Cause He Ain't A Gun Lover
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) on Sunday accused President Barack Obama's pick for surgeon general of not being a "health care professional" because the doctor had backed a ban on military-style assault rifles.





My doctor told me that I should avoid being shot by a gun. I was sad to inform him that he can now never be Surgeon General. - LOLGOP

Puerto Rican Republicans In Florida?
How a surge in Puerto Rican voters is changing Florida politics.
They may lean Democratic, but many —especially the newcomers —are 'up for grabs'




We've had cases of #Ebola in Germany, too, but we'd never blame Chancellor Merkel 4 it! I find you Americans hilariously ridiculous!- Sandra Lägel tweet

Business/Tech News

• Is the oil price fall more than just a coincidence?
• Pay raises rarer despite strong US hiring, survey says 
• Google removes search results linking to stolen photos of Jennifer Lawrence nude
• Judge to rule on Detroit bankruptcy plan in early November

Ebolaghazi Never Took Hold In Dallas Much To Fox News' Disappointment
Texas health officials say 120 people are still being monitored for possible infection with Ebola because they may have had contact with one of the three people who got the disease in Dallas.

Officials said Monday that 43 of 48 people on an original watch list had passed the 21-day incubation period for the viral disease and are now in the clear.

In America in 2014 if you work hard, follow the rules, and choose rich enough parents, you too can achieve the American Dream!- Top Conservative Cat

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Big thanks to Archie and Tim and everyone who donated!

I ordered a 9" Google tablet. It should arrive sometime between November and December, depending on customs.

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Odd News

• Revealed: King Tut had overbite, club foot because his parents were brother and sister
• Woman saved from California chimney, then arrested
• Super drunk woman arrested, mistook jail for bar
• Cemetery hopes 5K race, actors draw new customers
• Pittsburgh wins Gawker.com ugliest accent tourney

Time To Deflate Photo

Comet Siding Spring (shown here in an artist's concept) flew by Mars on Oct. 19, 2014, coming with 87,000 miles of the Red Planet. 

Credit: NASA

Peace.