ISIS terrorists won't sneak into U.S. across loose Mexico border: Homeland Security officials

ISIS terrorists won't sneak into U.S. across loose Mexico border: Homeland Security officials
Despite social media chatter on Twitter, Obama administration officials are more concerned about passport-holding bloodthirsty ISIS jihadists entering the U.S. via airplane.




John McCain is now on QVC selling a broader Iraq War.- LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Attacks Kill 30 People in Iraq's Capital, Baghdad
• US plan to fight Islamic State depends on new Iraq leadership, Kerry says ...
• FACT SHEET: Strategy to Counter the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL)
• Saudis to Provide Bases for Moderate Rebels in Syria
• Ahead of talks, Iran says West must drop 'illogical' nuclear demands
• The New Map Of The Ukraine Conflict Is Alarming

It would be a fine time for Congress to debate war and take a vote. But there are food stamps to cut.- LOLGOP

Cruz Doesn't Know His Audience, Gets Booed
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) was booed off the stage at an event hosted by a Christian organization in Washington, D.C., on Wednesday night.

The conservative firebrand delivered the keynote address at an event hosted by In Defense of Christians, an organization that raises awareness of persecuted Christian and minority communities in the Middle East. But the audience turned hostile when Cruz said, "Christians have no greater ally than Israel."




Ted Cruz busily Googling, trying to figure out how to accuse Obama of giving ISIL "amnesty."- LOLGOP

Republican Shenanigans

• Conservatives claim 9/11 attacks are the direct result of legalizing abortion in 1973
• Dick Cheney and Other Republicans Throw Stones at Obama From Glass House
• Sarah Palin to Barack Obama: 'Go big or go home'
• John McCain and Jay Carney go at it on CNN (Video)
• WATCH: Colorado GOP candidate comes out as Sandy Hook truther during debate
• Karl Rove Advises Obama: ‘Show Up in the Oval Office Earlier’

Bush 43 was known to be very punctual. Unfortunately that didn't do much for his presidency. - All Hat No Cattle

GOP Wants Boots On The Ground
The Republican chairman of the House Armed Services Committee on Thursday said U.S. ground troops will be required to meet President Obama’s objective of destroying Islamic State terrorists.

Rep. Buck McKeon (R-Calif.) said full military divisions won’t have to be sent to Iraq and Syria, but that it will require putting U.S. soldiers in harms way.




Mitt Romney is on Fox News again tonight. I think they may finally tell their viewers he lost.- LOLGOP

Rock The Voter News

• Obama leads White House in 9/11 moment of silence

9/11/01 terror attack = United We Stand.
9/11/12 terror attack = Blame Obama, and failing that, blame Hillary. - John Fugelsang

13 years ago today America was attacked by zero Iraqis & zero Afghans. - John Fugelsang




New Video Evidence In Michael Brown Shooting 
A video taken shortly after the shooting of unarmed teenager Michael Brown in Ferguson, Mo., on Aug. 9 shows an incredulous reaction by onlookers, who yell, 'He had his [expletive] hands up!' It's 'good evidence,' but not conclusive, legal experts say.

Now on FOX:  Why Obama's doing the right thing, and why that's wrong anyway.- John Fugelsang

Democrat and Republican Stranded On Island
Today, Discovery announced a new miniseries in which two sitting US Senators — one a Democrat, one a Republican — get stranded on an island.

This is not The Onion. Really, it’s not The Onion. We swear 100% that this is true and not something we made up while drunk.




Business/Tech News

• 13 years after 9/11, markets face new threat
• EU slaps new economic sanctions on Russia
• Chinese Regulators Fine Volkswagen and Chrysler on Antitrust Charges 
• Jobless claims rise 11000, but total stays low
• US Predicts Record Production For Corn, Soybeans Following Midwest Rain 

If the US was a Christian nation we'd vote to help the needy & sick and let private charity bail out Wall St.- John Fugelsang




Chris Christie Is Gonna Have Some Splaining To Do
New Jersey foreclosure starts in August increased 115 percent from a year ago to the highest level since January 2014, and scheduled foreclosure auctions increased 71 percent from a year ago to the highest level since July 2010. It gives New Jersey one foreclosure for every 553 homes compared to the national rate of one in every 1,126 and Pennsylvania’s rate of one in every 1,504.

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Odd News

• Mike Tyson Blows Up on TV Host: 'F*ck You,' 'You're a Piece of Sh*t'
• Thieves steal pumpkins grown by preschoolers
• 100 onions grown by Maine 5th-graders stolen
• Police: Intruder caught cooking corn in home
• Vermont town looking for stolen electronic sign

Time To Deflate Photo

Solid Ice at Lake Baikal, Russia.

Peace

Waste, fraud and abuse commonplace in Iraq reconstruction effort

Waste, fraud and abuse commonplace in Iraq reconstruction effort
After U.S. and allied warplanes destroyed a key bridge carrying 15 oil and gas pipelines in northern Iraq during the 2003 conflict there, officials in Washington and Baghdad made its postwar reconstruction a top priority. But instead of spending two months to rebuild the span over the Tigris River at an estimated cost of $5 million, they decided for security reasons to bury the pipelines beneath it, at an estimated cost more than five times greater.



Dick Cheney to meet with House Republicans today to coordinate how to blame Obama for the situation in Iraq.- Top Conservative Cat

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Airstrikes in Syria? Obama outlining Mideast plans
• John Kerry Arrives in Iraq for Talks on ISIS
• Official: Islamic State no threat of attack in US
• Israel hails US efforts to fight IS but worries on Iran
• US choppers land in Polish fields in bad weather

I'd like to remind my Christian anti-alcohol friends - in the Bible, Jesus is the leading cause of drinking at parties.- John Fugelsang



Putin Flexing His Missiles
 Russia carried out a successful test of its new Bulava intercontinental nuclear missile on Wednesday and will perform two more test launches in October and November, the head of its naval forces said.

After the House GOP heard from Dick Cheney on Iraq, Donald Trump gave them a few pointers on avoiding bankruptcy and protecting marriage.- LOLGOP




French Are On Board Against ISIS
French Foreign Minister Laurent Fabius said on Wednesday that France was prepared to take part in air strikes on Islamic extremists in Iraq “if necessary.”

Republican Shenanigans

• Mississippi high court to hear challenge of U.S. Senate race outcome
• Emboldened by Chipotle invasion, open carry activists start harassing Texas cops on duty
• GOP woman shames MO anti-abortion lawmakers for ‘mental anguish’ of rape victims
• Colbert: GOP’s attempt at female outreach leaves women ‘confused and embarrassed’

If there were a person named "Enron," he would still be prominent in the GOP and called on to give speeches about business ethics.- LOLGOP



Ted Cruz Puts The Cray Cray In Crazy
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) said “Saturday Night Live” creator Lorne Michaels could be thrown in jail if a Constitutional amendment on campaign finance is passed.

Fear of Frisbees?
A Texas man was charged with assault this week after he opened fire at a teen who was trying to retrieve a Frisbee disc that landed in his yard.



Obama lacks the bold leadership needed to attack ISIS by invading Venezuela. - JC Xtian

Prince William and his bride are expecting her second baby. That's pretty quick for Kate to have a second baby. It's almost as if producing an heir is her job.- Craig Ferguson



Rock The Voter News

• Obama speaks to Saudi King Abdullah ahead of Islamic State speech: official
• Massachusetts, Rhode Island Democrats nominate women for governor
• Bill Maher: If Hillary gets the 2016 nomination, I’ll vote for Rand Paul

Today Trump Entertainment Resorts declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Or as Donald Trump described Chapter 11, “back-to-back No. 1's.”- Conan O'Brien

Air Force Atheist Denied Re-Enlistment
The US Air Force has told a sergeant he will have to leave the military unless he agrees to take an oath with the phrase “so help me God,” officials said Tuesday.

In the latest religious controversy to roil the air force, the atheist airman last month was denied his request to re-enlist because of his refusal to swear to God — and he is now poised to take the military to court, his lawyer said.

Apple Watch? Ha! I'm waiting for GOP Watch, the only watch that goes backwards to the 1950s. -Top Conservative Cat

Statistics show domestic violence kills more people than wars, though we can change that if we start all the wars John McCain is asking for.- Top Conservative Cat

Don't Worry, It's All Good Under That Earthquake Prone Nuclear Power Plant
 A top Nuclear Regulatory Commission official has rejected a federal expert's recommendation to shut down California's last operating nuclear power plant until it can determine whether its reactors can withstand powerful shaking from nearby earthquake faults.



Business/Tech News

• Outgoing Justice Department official: ‘We are not done’ investigating the big banks
• Burger King U.S. Customers Seen Shunning Chain After Canada Move
• McDonald's: 'That's Not Ketchup…It's Blood'
• Jay Carney Joins CNN as Political Commentator
• Woman accused of drugging and stealing thousands from men she met online

I hear the Apple Watch can tell precisely how many seconds it's been since your last meaningful interaction with a real human!- Stephen Colbert

Apple Stock Bitten
Excitement and disappointment over Apple's new products sent its stock on a roller coaster ride Tuesday as investors reacted to a bevy of announcements...Apple's stock ended down just 0.4% after a volatile day during which the view on Wall Street 

Apple announced the iPhone 6 today, which they say has a more durable screen that won't crack or scratch as easily. Or as your kids put it, “Challenge accepted!” -Jimmy Fallon

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Odd News

• Hidden Monuments Reveal 'Stonehenge Is Not Alone'
• 3,000-Year-Old Golden Bowl Hides a Grisly Archaeological Tale
• Popular Theory About Volcanoes Is All Wrong, Scientists Say
• Ferrari 458 Spider stolen twice by same man; both now in custody
• Theft Suspect Fails to Pull Off ATM Robbery With Industrial Forklift

Time To Deflate Photo

Peace.

Dick Cheney warns House Republicans US military 'unprepared' to take on ISIS

Dick Cheney warns House Republicans US military 'unprepared' to take on ISIS
The former Vice President slammed President Obama's strategy for dealing with ISIS, blaming Obama’s isolationism tendencies for the rise of militants in Iraq and Syria.



Republicans still take advice on Iraq from Dick Cheney, which is like getting advice on containing Ebola from Ebola.- LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Iraq's Shi'ite militia, Kurds use U.S. air strikes to further own agendas
• Ukraine death toll edges up despite ceasefire, more POWs freed
• Somali militants threaten U.S. attacks to avenge leader's death
• Amid epic destruction, weary Gaza stuggles to rebuild
• Japan, Germany shake off WWII arms constraints. A cause for concern?
• Tot Fires Deputy's Gun Inside Wendy's, Injuring Himself And Three Others

The problem with the American Congress isn't a Confederacy of Dunces, it's the Dunces of the Confederacy.- John Fugelsang

Obama On Prime Time Tonight. Uh Oh.
President Barack Obama will deliver a prime-time address to the nation Wednesday to discuss his plans for expanding U.S. efforts to confront militants in Iraq and Syria.



The White House has decided not to send President Obama to campaign in battleground states because his low approval ratings could hurt Democrats. They’re only sending him where he can’t do any damage — or as that’s also known, “The Biden Circuit.”- Jimmy Fallon



This video is so cool.






Republican Shenanigans

• Boehner: Awaiting Obama strategy against militants
• Fox host spends 12 seconds not apologizing for ‘stairs’ quip about NFL domestic violence
• GOPer On Fox-Touted Benghazi Book: Authors Just Want To Make Money
• Louisiana Rep. Cassidy: Harry Reid Runs Senate 'Like A Plantation'
• Pat Robertson: ‘Blessed are the fully armed’ in church, ‘theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven’

The GOP has divebombed Obama's presidency, opposing and scandalizing everything. 

The result: He has a 9% popularity gap. Their gap is 51%. - LOLGOP

New Jersey Credit Tanking
New Jersey’s bond rating was downgraded Friday, its second downgrade this year and the seventh since Gov. Chris Christie (R) took office, a state record.




With his seventh credit downgrade for New Jersey, Chris Christie is now damaged enough to be the GOP's 2016 nominee. - LOLGOP

Rock The Voter News

• Former Presidents Bush, Clinton share some laughs in Washington
• Joe Biden On Ray Rice: 'The Ravens Did The Right Thing'

Beheaded Journalist's Family Speak Out
A spokesman for the family of murdered U.S. journalist Steven Joel Sotloff said Monday that the relationship between the family and the Obama administration was "very strained" while criticizing the administration for its treatment of the family during the ordeal.

The Gospel of Matthew has Jesus' family fleeing Herod's massacre & raising him in Egypt; which kinda makes JC an undocumented immigrant.- John Fugelsang



Ferguson City Leaders Meet
City leaders in Ferguson, Missouri, on Tuesday will hold their first public meeting since last month's fatal shooting of an unarmed black teenager by a white police officer that ignited nights of unrest in the St. Louis suburb.

Congress returned today after a 5-week recess and will put in a full 2 weeks before their next vacation. - Top Conservative Cat

"Apple plans to launch a mobile wallet to replace credit cards. That's good because if there's one company you want to trust with your money, it's the company that leaked your nude photos." –Conan O'Brien

Business/Tech News

• World Bank warns of global jobs crisis
• Dubai pushes ahead on world's biggest airport plan
• Home Depot Confirms It Was Hacked And A Lot Of Customers Might Be 'Impacted'
• Hong Kong Family Stumps Up With Harvard's Largest-Ever Donation

I'm furious about US jobs being sent to China & I can't wait to tweet about it on my new Apple Iphone 6.- John Fugelsang

Starbucks has a new business plan. Starbucks is planning to open about 100 new upscale coffee shops with more expensive coffee. It's for customers who feel that the regular Starbucks prices are too reasonable, I guess.- Jimmy Kimmel



Hemingway's Grandsons In Cuba
COJIMAR, Cuba – Just like Ernest Hemingway used to do, two of his grandsons sailed into the fishing town of Cojimar on Monday, marking 60 years since the iconic U.S. author won the Nobel prize.

I was watching "Sunday Night Football" and I hit the info button on the remote control. It said, "Auditions for 'America's Most Wanted.'"- Conan O'Brien

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I hope you had a good time today

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Odd News

• Sleepwalking camper injured in cliff fall in Ky.
• Man Stabs Coworker Who Ate His Meatball: Cops
• New Thai PM uses holy water, feng shui to ward off occult
• Norway to rent Dutch prisons to cut convict queue
• Mayor of ‘dry’ Alabama city arrested on charge of driving drunk
• Ridiculously Photogenic Fox Loves Her Human Friends A Little Too Much

Time To Deflate Photo

Machu Picchu, Peru.

Peace.