Dick Cheney warns House Republicans US military 'unprepared' to take on ISIS

Dick Cheney warns House Republicans US military 'unprepared' to take on ISIS
The former Vice President slammed President Obama's strategy for dealing with ISIS, blaming Obama’s isolationism tendencies for the rise of militants in Iraq and Syria.



Republicans still take advice on Iraq from Dick Cheney, which is like getting advice on containing Ebola from Ebola.- LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Iraq's Shi'ite militia, Kurds use U.S. air strikes to further own agendas
• Ukraine death toll edges up despite ceasefire, more POWs freed
• Somali militants threaten U.S. attacks to avenge leader's death
• Amid epic destruction, weary Gaza stuggles to rebuild
• Japan, Germany shake off WWII arms constraints. A cause for concern?
• Tot Fires Deputy's Gun Inside Wendy's, Injuring Himself And Three Others

The problem with the American Congress isn't a Confederacy of Dunces, it's the Dunces of the Confederacy.- John Fugelsang

Obama On Prime Time Tonight. Uh Oh.
President Barack Obama will deliver a prime-time address to the nation Wednesday to discuss his plans for expanding U.S. efforts to confront militants in Iraq and Syria.



The White House has decided not to send President Obama to campaign in battleground states because his low approval ratings could hurt Democrats. They’re only sending him where he can’t do any damage — or as that’s also known, “The Biden Circuit.”- Jimmy Fallon



This video is so cool.






Republican Shenanigans

• Boehner: Awaiting Obama strategy against militants
• Fox host spends 12 seconds not apologizing for ‘stairs’ quip about NFL domestic violence
• GOPer On Fox-Touted Benghazi Book: Authors Just Want To Make Money
• Louisiana Rep. Cassidy: Harry Reid Runs Senate 'Like A Plantation'
• Pat Robertson: ‘Blessed are the fully armed’ in church, ‘theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven’

The GOP has divebombed Obama's presidency, opposing and scandalizing everything. 

The result: He has a 9% popularity gap. Their gap is 51%. - LOLGOP

New Jersey Credit Tanking
New Jersey’s bond rating was downgraded Friday, its second downgrade this year and the seventh since Gov. Chris Christie (R) took office, a state record.




With his seventh credit downgrade for New Jersey, Chris Christie is now damaged enough to be the GOP's 2016 nominee. - LOLGOP

Rock The Voter News

• Former Presidents Bush, Clinton share some laughs in Washington
• Joe Biden On Ray Rice: 'The Ravens Did The Right Thing'

Beheaded Journalist's Family Speak Out
A spokesman for the family of murdered U.S. journalist Steven Joel Sotloff said Monday that the relationship between the family and the Obama administration was "very strained" while criticizing the administration for its treatment of the family during the ordeal.

The Gospel of Matthew has Jesus' family fleeing Herod's massacre & raising him in Egypt; which kinda makes JC an undocumented immigrant.- John Fugelsang



Ferguson City Leaders Meet
City leaders in Ferguson, Missouri, on Tuesday will hold their first public meeting since last month's fatal shooting of an unarmed black teenager by a white police officer that ignited nights of unrest in the St. Louis suburb.

Congress returned today after a 5-week recess and will put in a full 2 weeks before their next vacation. - Top Conservative Cat

"Apple plans to launch a mobile wallet to replace credit cards. That's good because if there's one company you want to trust with your money, it's the company that leaked your nude photos." –Conan O'Brien

Business/Tech News

• World Bank warns of global jobs crisis
• Dubai pushes ahead on world's biggest airport plan
• Home Depot Confirms It Was Hacked And A Lot Of Customers Might Be 'Impacted'
• Hong Kong Family Stumps Up With Harvard's Largest-Ever Donation

I'm furious about US jobs being sent to China & I can't wait to tweet about it on my new Apple Iphone 6.- John Fugelsang

Starbucks has a new business plan. Starbucks is planning to open about 100 new upscale coffee shops with more expensive coffee. It's for customers who feel that the regular Starbucks prices are too reasonable, I guess.- Jimmy Kimmel



Hemingway's Grandsons In Cuba
COJIMAR, Cuba – Just like Ernest Hemingway used to do, two of his grandsons sailed into the fishing town of Cojimar on Monday, marking 60 years since the iconic U.S. author won the Nobel prize.

I was watching "Sunday Night Football" and I hit the info button on the remote control. It said, "Auditions for 'America's Most Wanted.'"- Conan O'Brien

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I hope you had a good time today

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Odd News

• Sleepwalking camper injured in cliff fall in Ky.
• Man Stabs Coworker Who Ate His Meatball: Cops
• New Thai PM uses holy water, feng shui to ward off occult
• Norway to rent Dutch prisons to cut convict queue
• Mayor of ‘dry’ Alabama city arrested on charge of driving drunk
• Ridiculously Photogenic Fox Loves Her Human Friends A Little Too Much

Time To Deflate Photo

Machu Picchu, Peru.

Peace.

Pennsylvania mother who gave daughter ‘abortion pill’ gets prison

Pennsylvania mother who gave daughter ‘abortion pill’ gets prison
 A Pennsylvania woman has been sentenced to up to 18 months in prison for obtaining so-called abortion pills online and providing them to her teenage daughter to end her pregnancy.

Jennifer Ann Whalen, 39, of Washingtonville, a single mother who works as a nursing home aide, pleaded guilty in August to obtaining the miscarriage-inducing pills from an online site in Europe for her daughter, 16, who did not want to have the child.




The emphasis must be not on the right to abortion but on the right to privacy and reproductive control. - Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Florida congressman doesn't want the ladies to worry their pretty little heads over issues





If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament. - Florynce Kennedy

Pope = Peace
War is not the way to address injustice, Pope Francis said Sunday, in comments that appeared to distance himself further from any faith-based justification for US airstrikes in Iraq.

Laughing At The Victim
The hosts of Fox & Friends on Monday turned video of NFL player Ray Rice punching his then-girlfriend unconscious in an elevator into a joke, saying that in the future she should “take the stairs.”

You can't take ground troops off the table. I mean, what if W. had taken ground troops off the table for Iraq? Then we wouldn't have ISIS.- LOLGOP

Christian War On Women AND Gays
Wash. state megachurch closes branches after founder is caught calling women ‘penis homes’
Washington megachurch Mars Hill announced that it is closing several branches, and has dismissed a pastor after he recently called for the resignation of founder Mark Driscoll, who had created controversy with his anti-LGBT and anti-woman views.




"President Obama shows up at a press conference and he's wearing a beige suit. Well, this drives the Republicans crazy. It's nothing but, 'How could he?' and 'What's he trying to pull?' Republicans would just rather have a beige President."–David Letterman

"According to a report from the United Nations, the damage from global warming could be irreversible. It's clear we need to do something. We need to give the Earth the ice bucket challenge." –Jimmy Kimmel




Yep, It's Still Bush's Fault
The US Justice Department has released two memos detailing the George W. Bush administration’s legal justification for monitoring the phone calls and emails of Americans without a warrant.

"Republicans have a video game for the kids. You have an elephant on your video game and it tries to accumulate seats in the Senate. It's not the first. Remember George W. Bush had a video game back in 2000 -- Grand Theft Election." –David Letterman

"Apple is sprucing up the iPhone. Tomorrow you can get the new iPhone 6. The iPhone 6 is a lot like President Obama's hair. Every year it's lighter and thinner." –David Letterman

Mittens Romney @ Hillary: Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah.
Mitt Romney has said he's not running for president in 2016 - but if he were to run and win, he's sure he'd be a lot better at the job than Hillary Clinton.




"Burger King is moving to Canada. they bought the doughnut place, Tim Horton's. Financed by Warren Buffett, burger king will be moving to Canada to avoid paying taxes. Hearing about it, President Obama immediately took away Buffett's medal of freedom." –David Letterman

"Folks, I do not have to tell you that the world out there is spinning out of control. The Middle East is in flames. Russian troops have crossed into Ukraine. But the biggest news this weekend was the shocking invasion of Boob-istan." –Stephen Colbert on the celebrity nude photo scandal

Joan Rivers Goes Out In Style (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Rivers really went out with a bang.
Pipers played, comics joked, singers sang.
And of course there was crying,
As spirits were flying–
The yin of a death … and the yang.





Yosemite Burning
 A wildfire that prompted the rescue of 185 hikers in Yosemite National Park has blackened four square miles of back country wilderness, officials said Monday, as crews hoped rainy weather would give them a chance to gain some control over the flames.

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I hope you enjoyed today's abbreviated edition.

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Odd News

• Nicaragua says meteorite probable cause of blast in capital
• Couple exchanges vows, rappel down Miami hotel
• Mom Let Child Drive Because She Was Drunk: Cops
• Pajama-Clad 9-Year-Old Steals City Bus
• Judge orders attorney to wear socks in courtroom

Time To Deflate Photo

900 year old church in Norway.

Peace.

Kosovo, Ukraine, Syria and Iraq

Kosovo, Ukraine, Syria and Iraq
The struggles by ethnic and religious groups left behind by empire cannot be resolved by outsiders. These competing groups need to find their own way – even fight their own way – to arrive at boundaries and arrangements they can live with. Any foreign intervention risks alienating one side or the other.



Yesterday John Kerry joined five previous secretaries of state at a groundbreaking ceremony for a new diplomacy museum. Sorry, I just fell asleep saying that.- Jimmy Fallon

Obama Is Waiting For Congress To Come Back From 5 Week Vacay
U.S. President Barack Obama will meet with the four leaders of the U.S. Congress on Tuesday, a senior congressional source said on Friday, amid rising concern in Washington about the advances of the Islamic State.




Republicans are oddly unafraid of the one invasion America will definitely face -- from the oceans. Maybe we should tell them it's brown.- LOLGOP

One Less Police State Member
A police officer in Baton Rouge resigned Thursday after a local news channel revealed that he sent text messages in which he wished that fellow officers “would pull a Ferguson” on a “bunch of monkeys,” The Advocate reports.




 'Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you." ~ L.B. Johnson

If you truly hate abortions maybe try to avoid buying things made in a country where they're mandatory.- John Fugelsang




Female Democrat Candidate Reveals She Had Two Abortions
Texas Democratic gubernatorial candidate Wendy Davis reveals in a new campaign memoir that she terminated two pregnancies for medical reasons in the 1990s, including one where the fetus had developed a severe brain abnormality.

Crazed Christian Wants To Convert Atheists With Nicolas Cage's Help 
One of the stars of TV’s “Duck Dynasty” urged Christians to take their non-believing friends to see an upcoming Nicolas Cage movie, saying it might convert them.




Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson: "I'm as much of a homophobe as Jesus was."  Except Jesus, y'know, never said vulgar ignorant homophobic crap. - John Fugelsang

One Out Of Five Women Are Raped In The U.S.
An estimated 19.3 percent of women have been raped at one point in their lives. That's according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which Friday released results from a 2011 survey.



“When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she's a bitch.” 
― Bette Davis

America's Wang Wags Again
A 15-year-old teenager who moved from Seattle to Clay County, Florida was forced to wear an ill-fitting, brightly colored “shame suit” to classes after she unknowingly violated the school’s skirt-length policy on her first day.

Workers who were witnesses provide new perspective on Michael Brown shooting





Use your enemy's hand to catch a snake ~ Persian Proverb

I can't wait for the next Oscars dead-person montage when all the celebs Joan Rivers insulted have to applaud her.- John Fugelsang




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Shortened Edition Today. Mea Culpa.

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Odd News

• Giant Live Millipedes Seized at San Francisco Airport
• Florida Restaurant Bans Ketchup for Any Customer Over Age 10
• Ocean sunfish washes up on Washington coast
• Maine lobstermen catch 2 albino lobsters in week
• Bear chases bow hunter up tree, bites his leg

Time To Deflate Photo

Rice terraces of Yuanyang, China.

Peace.