When the drugs kick in...

Former President George W. Bush baffles internet with swaying, dancing at Dallas memorial
At Tuesday's memorial for the five officers killed last week in an ambush attack in downtown Dallas, President Barack Obama was joined on stage by the first lady, vice president and his wife, former first lady Laura Bush, and a dancing former president


That look on Mrs. Obama's face is priceless, as though she is saying, what. are. you. doing? Dubya is still an embarrassment. 

Today will be a short short edition. I'm feeling under the weather. :(

Imagine your future career prospects being so bleak that you'd consider becoming Trump's running mate. - side-eye spice tweet

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*removes glasses and turns to the jury*
Ladies and gentlemen, how is it even possible to defame Donald Trump? - LOLGOP

Trump Trumps Up $10 Million Dollar Lawsuit Against Ex- Staffer. Ex-Staffer Counter Sues
Former Donald Trump campaign staffer Sam Nunberg has filed sensational legal papers against the presidential hopeful’s campaign, alleging he was wrongly accused of leaking a story to Page Six about a “lovers’ quarrel” between the mogul’s publicist and campaign manager.
Nunberg, who worked as a strategic adviser for Trump but was fired last year, claims in the papers that, because he then endorsed Sen. Ted Cruz, the Trump campaign is “attempting to bring a frivolous and retaliatory arbitration proceeding against me essentially to punish me and shut me up.”


Can't wait until Trump sues America for voting against him. - LOLGOP

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Trump v Ginsberg
Republican Donald Trump thrust the U.S. Supreme Court into the presidential campaign debate on Wednesday, rallying conservatives with a call for Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg to resign after she lambasted him in a series of media interviews.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg should pick on someone her own IQ. - Andy Borowitz

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Time To Deflate Photo

A lightning strike dockside. Yikes!

Peace.

Bernie endorses Hillary

Bernie Sanders endorses Hillary Clinton
"I have come here to make it as clear as possible why I am endorsing Hillary Clinton and why she must become our next president," Sanders said at a joint rally...


BREAKING: Appearing with Hillary Clinton at rally in New Hampshire, Bernie Sanders announces he's now a corrupt corporate whore sellout.- Tea Party Cat

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Pentagon will provide new assistance to Iraq after Baghdad bombings
• Aleppo rebels brace for long government siege
• U.S. troops in Afghanistan can strike Taliban more easily: Carter

Even if Britain's new prime minister turns out to be totally crappy, the fact that they only spent about two weeks to pick her makes me insanely envious.- Andy Borowitz

Right Wing Think Tanks Trying To Undo Iran Deal, Falls Flat
When Nokia received a letter from the group United Against Nuclear Iran warning it of the risk of investing in the Islamist-led country, the Finland-based company’s response was pointed. The technological services it offers, Nokia wrote on June 8, "are crucial for the development of strong civil societies and the realization of human rights.”


The Hillary Clinton campaign recently released an ad that features clips of Donald Trump praising world dictators. In the video, Trump praises Saddam Hussein, Vladimir Putin, and Abby Lee from "Dance Moms."- Conan O'Brien

Bundy Bros: The Reason The U.S. Needs To Educate Its Citizens 
Ammon and Ryan Bundy will be allowed to meet together in jail to coordinate their defense — but now they want prosecutors to join them behind bars until they are tried for their roles in plotting the armed takeover of an Oregon wildlife reserve.


Republican Shenanigans

• GOP platform targets pornography
• Activists to deliver petition urging Trump to release tax returns
• Eric Trump swore dad gave ‘hundreds of thousands’ to his charity — now he’s not so sure
• Conservative ranter Tomi Lahren: Obama and his ‘two black attorney generals’ incited ‘Dallas demon’
• Family Research Council Prez Tony Perkins Pushes for GOP to Embrace ‘Conversion Therapy’
• Raging anti-Hillary nut faces assault charges for trying to run over photographer with SUV
• Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry agrees Trump’s border wall is ‘never going to happen’
• ‘I’d rather attend the public hanging of a good friend’: GOP insiders unload on Trump convention

As a native of Cleveland, I respectfully issue this plea to LeBron James: You stopped the Golden State Warriors. Now, somehow, I beg you to stop the 2016 Republican Convention.- Andy Borowitz

This Is Why Al Gore Wanted Social Security In A "Lockbox"
Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK) is encouraging Democrats to cut Social Security and Medicare benefits because the programs are “things we don’t absolutely need.”





Rudy Giuliani made some insane and offensive comments today, which made me wonder why he is not on Trump's vp list.- Andy Borowitz

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GOP Keeps Beating Dead Horse
Republican lawmakers pummeled Attorney General Loretta Lynch with questions Tuesday about the Justice Department's decision not to prosecute Hillary Clinton for sending classified information on a private, unsecured email system...


After a week of tragedy that has put the nation on edge, congressional Republicans have responded swiftly by seeking a new investigation of Hillary Clinton's emails. - Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

• Obama heads to Dallas, determined to bridge the divide deepened by shootings
• Biden Defends Black Lives Matter After Giuliani Attacks Them as ‘Racist’

Honestly, your vote is yours to invest in whomever you like. Just register, vote and shame others to doing so. - LOLGOP

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Biz/Tech News

• Crude Oil 46.67
• Dow hits new all-time intraday high as market puts Brexit fears behind
• Pokémon Go promises to fix the bug that lets it access all your Google data
• Obama Renews Call For A 'Public Option' In Federal Health Law

The GOP’s platform now states that porn is a “public health crisis” &  a “menace.”  
So never say they're not fighting for the middle class. - John Fugelsang

Here Comes STAR WARS at Disneyland! 
What a piece of junk!”
That’s how Luke Skywalker described the Millennium Falcon when he first sees Han Solo’s ship in the 1977 movie “Star Wars.” But that piece of junk plays a prominent role in the new 14-acre “Star Wars” attraction, under construction in Disneyland.





Construction has just started on a two-mile underground "beer pipeline" in Europe. Which explains why today, Britain changed its mind on Brexit.- Conan O'Brien

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Odd News

• Alzheimer's disease may be detectable using eye exam
• News Anchor Catching Pokemon Walks Through Live Weather Forecast
• Watch The Moon Photobomb NASA's Spectacular Shot Of Earth
• Italian mayor shuts offices after mass arrests for absenteeism
• Beaver attacks 67-year-old paddleboarder on Beaver Lake

Time To Deflate Photo

Lake Tahoe, California
Photo by Lakeshore Paddleboard Company

Peace.

Donald Trump’s ‘spiritual advisor’ sells eternal life

Donald Trump’s ‘spiritual advisor’ sells eternal life
Every president and presidential candidate boasts of having spiritual leaders in their lives, but Donald Trump’s is making money selling desperate Christians eternal life for the bargain price of $1,144.


GOP Platform: We will force you to have your rapist's baby then "convert" him to straightness so he can learn the Bible in History class. - LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• At least 3 dead in shooting at Berrien County, Michigan courthouse
• Osama bin Laden's son promises revenge
• Carter: US will use Iraq city as base to retake Mosul
• North Korea vows "extreme uneasiness and terror" against U.S
• Protests of police killings: Dozens of arrests in Louisiana
• Mexican president: 'No way' nation will pay for border wall

Voting
Student ID ain't good enough.
Bathrooms
Long-form birth certificate, please.
Guns
Who are we to invade your personal space? - LOLGOP

Racist Cop Says Blacks Should Quit Complaining
Former NYPD detective Harry Houck on Monday argued that the black Americans were “prone to criminality,” and that activists should stop claiming that blacks were being “picked on” by law enforcement.

Republican Shenanigans

• Chuck Todd Pretends We're Hearing Equally Divisive Rhetoric From 'Both Sides' On The Campaign Trail
• Gen. McChrystal being considered for Trump VP: report
•  Report: '95 percent probability' of Pence as Trump VP
• Republican donors increasingly concerned about Trump after recent comments: report
• Giuliani: #BlackLivesMatter phrase is "inherently racist"
• Ryan: It will be hard finding common ground with "liberal progressive" Clinton 

GOP platform: Government is too intrusive. Stick to important stuff like making sure you have your rapist's baby and divorcing gay people.- LOLGOP

Texas Governor Injured
Republican Gov. Greg Abbott of Texas sustained "extensive second- and third-degree burns" on both legs below the knees and both feet — and may miss next week's Republican National Convention as a result, his office said Sunday.


Analysts are now saying that Florida could be one of the biggest threats to Donald Trump’s campaign. In other words, Trump may be crazy, but he’s not Florida crazy.- Conan O'Brien

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Trump: I'm The Law And Order Candidate
In his first public event since last week’s deadly ambush of Dallas police officers, Donald Trump on Monday called for an end to hostility to the nation’s law enforcement and insisted that he is the “law and order” candidate in the presidential race.







Fox News—where cops who investigate themselves are always innocent, but Hillary's guilty even after lengthy FBI investigation says she's not. - The Daily Edge

Rock The Voter News

• Obama to travel to Dallas on Tuesday for memorial service: White House
• Ruth Bader Ginsburg: If Trump wins, time to move to New Zealand

It's 2016 Anti-Vaxxers! 2016!
Arizona anti-vaxxers working for a private prison company have been blamed for the largest measles outbreak in the US. Officials have confirmed 22 cases of measles in the state since late May, and they all can be traced back to the Eloy detention center, a privately managed Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) facility.

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Biz/Tech News

• Crude Oil 44.55
• What Eric Trump has to say about the Trump family business failures
• These underwater villas are a real thing -- and they look astonishing

Can't wait until we have a president who thinks the civil rights issue of our time is if CNN is being nice to him. - LOLGOP

Trump + Newt = Lots Of Ex-Wives And Debt
If Donald Trump is the king of debt, Newt Gingrich’s last campaign’s balance sheet might make him a fitting prince.


Men are 543% more likely to look at porn than females. 
That's right, only 543%. - John Fugelsang

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Odd News

• Soda maker's campaign drinks: Trump Tonic and Hillary Hooch
• Religious People Say They Don’t Watch Porn. Internet Data Says Otherwise.
• Sand sculpture of busty Cape Cod mermaid draws complaints
• Sheriff warns: Stop trespassing to find Pokemon on new app
• India state aims to plant a record 50 million trees in a day

Time To Deflate Photo

This Hubble image shows auroras on Jupiter. These massive structures are created by the planet's huge magnetic field and punishing radiation environment. - PHOTOGRAPH BY NASA, ESA

Peace.