Friday, May 26, 2017

Montana Bodyslammer Gets Elected. D.C. Press Corp Reacts.

Gianforte's victory after assaulting reporter reflects rising tribalism in American politics
Greg Gianforte admitted to attacking a reporter and apologized during his victory speech last night, as he kept Montana's sole House seat in Republican hands.

The Republican congressional candidate for a special election in Montana yesterday reportedly body-slammed a journalist after he asked a question about the Republican health care plan. Now, to be fair, that basically is the Republican health care plan. - Seth Myers

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

I no longer think Trump conspired with Russia to win the election, because he would have bragged about it to a barista by now. - Conan O'Brien

Trump Bullies Germans
President Donald Trump has said Germans are “bad” for having a large trade surplus with the United States, drawing attention to a contentious issue at a summit of world leaders where trade is already a sticking point.

Soon, a politician will hack up a reporter with a chainsaw & a majority will say, "He still gets my vote because he supports school vouchers" - Erik Bransteen

Republican Shenanigans

Usually I'm against nepotism but I would support Jared Kushner going to the same prison as his father. - Andy Borowitz

The media's obsession with Trump voters is like sympathizing with drunk drivers instead of the innocent people they mow over. -@goldengateblond

Jesus Christ. Trump Always Was Nuts.
A Nobel Prize-winning cardiologist says that Donald Trump has had “Russia mania” for decades, and that the president once asked for his help in order to get close to the former head of the Soviet Union....and then he took his thumb and he hit the desk and he said, ‘And within one hour the Cold War would be over!’ I sat there dumbfounded. ‘Who is this self-inflated individual? Is he sane or what?'”

I would say that Melania's anti-bullying campaign hasn't really taken off. - Andy Borowitz


 Click here to meet C.W.


In Rare Consensus, 28 NATO Nations Agree That Trump is Asshole. - Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

GOP strategist admits he colluded with Russian hackers to hurt Hillary Clinton, Democrats
The U.S. intelligence community has long since concluded Russia meddled in the 2016 election, and it was reported shortly after the 2016 presidential election that a GOP superPAC linked to Paul Ryan used illegally hacked material to attack Democratic... 

Easy to ridicule Montana for electing a congressman who assaulted one man until you remember that the United States elected a President who boasted about assaulting multiple women. - Andy Borowitz


 Click here to visit Wattensaw Press


Trump called Germany "bad, very bad" for their car exports days after doing a sword dance with a regime that beheads dissidents with swords. - Brian Klaas

Biz/Tech News

Costs associated with body slamming, such as X-rays to the elbow and other injured body parts, would have to be paid for out of pocket under the G.O.P. plan. - Andy Borowitz

Trump Was Right! Lying Ted!
The Federal Election Commission (FEC) on Thursday said that Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) improperly accounted for Goldman Sachs loans he received during his 2012 Senate campaign.
The FEC’s finding, which was posted on its website, marked a rare moment of agreement between the agency’s five commissioners.

They make cat food out of cow, fish, turkey, chicken & lamb meat.
But not mouse meat.
Which is probably all cats really want. - John Fugelsang


FYI: I in no way resemble the woman above.


Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

A Zeppelin flying above the more than 4,000 year old pyramids of Giza in Egypt, 1931. I wonder what those Egyptian men were thinking?

Best Wishes for a Peaceful Weekend.

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