Monday, April 24, 2017

Wait for it

Senate Russia probe flounders amid partisan bickering
More than three months after the Senate Intelligence Committee launched its investigation into Russian meddling in the 2016 election — including allegations of collusion by associates of President Trump — the panel has made little progress and is increasingly stymied by partisan divisions that are jeopardizing the future of the inquiry, according to multiple sources involved in the probe.
The committee has yet to issue a single subpoena for documents or interview any key witnesses who are central to the probe...

Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports.- Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

The one part of Trump's presidency I'm looking forward to is the sentencing phase. - Andy Borowitz

The Far Right Wing Is Not Far And Not Right
Of the 85 violent extremist incidents that resulted in death since September 12, 2001, far right wing violent extremist groups were responsible for 62 (73 percent) while radical Islamist violent extremists were responsible for 23 (27 percent). 

That Trump hasn't accidentally started World War Three (yet) is a MAJOR accomplishment for his first hundred days. He should be bragging. - Jeff Tiedrich

In Case You Were Wondering, Most Americans Are Still Sane. Phew.
Nearly three-quarters of Americans say they want an independent, non-partisan commission instead of Congress to investigate Russia's involvement in the 2016 election, according to the latest NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll

Republican Shenanigans

Part of the government shutdown should be cutting off Trump's cable. - Andy Borowitz

Trump Is Drinking Too Much Whine
President Trump continues to rant about a pair of new polls that show he is approaching his 100th day in office with the lowest approval rating of any president in more than 70 years.
“The two fake news polls released yesterday, ABC & NBC, while containing some very positive info, were totally wrong in General E. Watch!” Trump tweeted early Monday morning.

Historians studying archival photographs from four decades ago have come to the conclusion that the U.S. must have believed in science at some point.  - Andy Borowitz


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Republicans shut down the government and cost taxpayers $24B. And the voters STILL re-elected those clowns. - Matt Murphy

Rock The Voter News

Just curious: How many days you figure Hillary would have taken off by now to play golf? 
My bet is zero. - Jack Miller

Republicans Won't Investigate Russian Ties To Trump
On the campaign trail last fall, Republican Sen. Richard Burr told North Carolina voters there was no "separation” between himself and Donald Trump. The Senate Intelligence Committee chairman also bragged about his role in getting the FBI to investigate Hillary Clinton’s emails.
Now, the third-term senator is under fire for running interference for the White House last week on a news report asserting repeated contacts between Trump’s campaign and Moscow.

It's totally unfair to compare Trump's first 100 days to Obama's. It would be fairer to compare his accomplishments with those of other former game-show hosts with glaring personality disorders.- Andy Borowitz


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Biz/Tech News

Bill O'Reilly got more money to resign from his job for sexually harassing women than you'll make in an entire lifetime. - OhNoSheTwitnt

If President Trump really wants to save our country some money, he can live in the house we gave him. - Jeff Tiedrich

The Attorney General Of The United States Just Told A Big Lie Without Any Proof About Mexicans
The proposed wall along the U.S.-Mexico border could be paid for by reducing erroneously issued tax credits that go to “mostly Mexicans,” said Attorney General Jeff Sessions on Sunday...Presumably the report that Sessions was citing was a July 2011 report by the Treasury inspector general for tax administration that said individuals who are not authorized to work in the U.S. have been paid $4.2 billion in refundable tax credits. But it did not mention Mexicans or any other nationalities.

Trump’s biggest accomplishment in his first 100 days has been making it seem like much longer. - Conan O'Brien


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Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

The master of camouflage

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