Friday, April 28, 2017

The Dismantler's Little Helper

Tillerson eyes cutting 2,300 jobs at State Department
Secretary of State Rex Tillerson is proposing to eliminate 2,300 jobs as part of a plan to cut more than a quarter of the State Department's budget for the next fiscal year, officials said Friday. The plan will almost certainly meet resistance from lawmakers opposing President Donald Trump's proposal to shrink the size of the federal government.

Trump Boasts He Has Made More Money in First 100 Days Than Any Other President. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Millionaire-at-birth who just played golf 19 times in 99 days thought new job would be easier. - John Fugelsang

Trump Reins In U.S. Ambassador
The State Department is reportedly urging U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley to get her remarks cleared with Washington before making official public statements.

When you ask yourself how the GOP chooses to protect obvious treason, remind yourself the RNC was hacked, too. #Kompromat - Tea Pain

Republican Shenanigans

Spicer reminds you to blame the white guy who hired Flynn on the black guy who fired Flynn. - John Fugelsang

Fox News Being Investigated For Fraud
The U.S. Justice Department's investigation of Fox News has widened to include a second law enforcement agency.
Financial crimes experts from the United States Postal Inspection Service are now involved, according to four sources connected to the investigation.
Mail fraud and wire fraud cases are part of the USPIS purview.

We don't need a tax cut, we need a President cut.- Andy Borowitz


 Click here to meet C.W.


Appearing at his first public event since leaving office, the former President fired off a punishing fusillade of grammatically correct statements. - Andy Borowitz

Obama Delivers Zinger In Style
Former President Barack Obama hailed the political resilience of his signature health care law at a private event Thursday, pointing out that Obamacare is now more popular than his successor trying to repeal it: President Donald Trump.

Rock The Voter News

If Trump's greatest 100 day achievement is getting Gorsuch on SCOTUS I once gave someone stolen merchandise too and it didn't take 100 days. - John Fugelsang

The Justice Dept Was Investigating Bernie Sander's Wife
The Justice Department was investigating the activities of the now-defunct Burlington College as recently as February, according to emails obtained through a public records request...In January 2016, after reporting by VTDigger showing former Burlington College President Jane Sanders overstated pledged donations in applying for a loan so the school could purchase its former North Avenue campus, Republican lawyer Brady Toensing made a formal request to the U.S. attorney for a fraud investigation.

"I want to say happy birthday to first lady Melania Trump, who turned 47 years old today! She plans to celebrate with her loved ones. And Donald." –Jimmy Fallon


 Click here to visit Wattensaw Press


"A new study says that the first humans to arrive in what is now North America may have been Neanderthals. Apparently they came here to vote in the 2016 election." –Conan O'Brien

Biz/Tech News

"President Trump spoke on the phone with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau yesterday amidst increased tensions on trade. I'm guessing Trump wanted to trade ... faces?" –Seth Meyers

Google And Facebook Got Swindled By Fake Emails But Not By Nigeria
Joon H. Kim, the Acting United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York, and William F. Sweeney Jr., the Assistant Director-in-Charge of the New York Office of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (“FBI”), announced criminal charges against EVALDAS RIMASAUSKAS for orchestrating a fraudulent business email compromise scheme that induced two U.S.-based internet companies (the “Victim Companies”) to wire a total of over $100 million to bank accounts controlled by RIMASAUSKAS. RIMASAUSKAS was arrested late last week by authorities in Lithuania on the basis of a provisional arrest warrant.  The case has been assigned to U.S. District George B. Daniels.

"President Trump is considering opening federal park land to developers. In fact, builders have already broken ground on a Bed, Bath & Grand Canyon." –Conan O'Brien



Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

Buzz Aldrin takes the first 'space selfie' in 1966. How cool is that flat earth believers?


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