Monday, September 26, 2016

Preparing for the debate...

WARNING: Drinking every time Trump lies during the debate could lead to alcohol poisoning and death
Many of you, no doubt, will be playing drinking games tonight during the 90 commercial-free minutes of the presidential debate between Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump and Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton. We at the Raw Story Stomach Pump Incident Prevention Desk would like to warn you that if you’re planning on drinking every time Trump tells a lie, you could be seriously endangering your health and even risking your life.

Across the country, liquor stores reported a desperate run on their merchandise as Americans fortified themselves for what many called "ninety minutes of horror."- Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

Lawyer In Shoot Out With Police In Texas
A gunman who died in a shootout with officers in Houston Monday was a lawyer who lived in the neighborhood and left a car full of weapons near the scene, the city's police chief said.

"A man you can bait with a tweet, is not a man we can trust with nuclear weapons." -Hillary Clinton

Republican Shenanigans

Weird. A guy whose campaign is built on calling immigrant criminals when they commit fewer crimes than citizens hates fact checkers.- LOLGOP

Hurrah! Someone Will Fact Check During The Debate
Bloomberg TV will conduct on-screen fact checks of statements made by both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton during Monday night’s debate...The channel’s decision to conduct an on-screen fact-check sets Bloomberg apart from the other major TV networks, none of whom have committed to doing on-screen fact checks during the debate.

“Trump didn’t say the c-word and he spoke in complete sentences. We select him as the winner of the debate.” —the news media, tomorrow - Erik Bransteen


 Click here to meet C.W.


A White House email account was hacked and a lot of their information was leaked yesterday. They're saying the information was stolen from the Gmail account of a low-level staffer. Then Joe Biden was like, "Technically, my title is vice president."- Jimmy Fallon

Rock The Voter News

Donald has been preparing his entire life to yell at a woman for 90 straight minutes.- LOLGOP

Move Along Kansans, Nothing To See Here
Kansas Governor Sam Brownback enacted his grand “tea party experiment” of Republican government, where he and his Republican-led legislature cut taxes and significantly reduced spending. The result has been catastrophic for the state’s economy and for jobs, but a report that would detail just how catastrophic is now being censored by the Brownback administration.


 Click here to visit Wattensaw Press


Trump was actually describing himself in an interview this week and said that his strongest suit is his temperament. Although sadly, even that suit is made in China.- Jimmy Fallon

Biz/Tech News

From a ratings standpoint, the 2016 election has been an enormous success, the only downside being the possible destruction of all living things on the planet.- Andy Borowitz

Wah! He Wants To Be Condescending To Women! Mission Accomplished.
Fox News host Bill Hemmer claimed over the weekend that men faced reverse sexism because they could not get away with being “condescending” to women on television.

When I was a kid they told us pot makes you violent and lazy. 
I say making violent people lazy prevents a lot of crime. - John Fugelsang



Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

A group of samurai in front of the Sphinx in Egypt, 1863.


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