Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Headline in the year 2046

Sheriff Arpaio on Obama birth certificate: 'I'm not going to give up'
Even though Donald Trump finally acknowledged last week that President Barack Obama was born in the United States, one of the Republican nominee's most prominent allies in law enforcement is not dropping the case.

So birtherism is awful. And one unproven allegation of it from 8 years ago is worse than 5 years of screaming about it on TV. Perfect sense. - LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

If rallies decide this election, prepare for our first monster truck president.- LOLGOP

Corporate Terrorism?
About 30 minutes east of Tampa Bay, a 45-foot-wide sinkhole opened in late August, depositing at least 215 million gallons of polluted, slightly radioactive water into a vast underground aquifer. (That's enough to fill more than 310 Olympic-size swimming pools.) The company responsible for the spill, fertilizer giant Mosaic, didn't publicly disclose it until last Thursday, two weeks after it started. 

Republican Shenanigans

Donald Trump's record...   
Elected offices held: 0   
Divorces: 2   
Bankruptcies: 4   
Draft deferments: 5   
Bad hair days: 12,375
- FrankTheDoorman

Trump and Polish Undocumented Workers
When Marco Rubio attacked Donald Trump on the debate stage this week for using undocumented Polish workers to build Trump Tower, the developer shrugged it off.
"He brings up something from 30 years ago," Trump shot back. "It worked out very well. Everybody was happy."

Donald Trump has pledged to create 25 million new jobs. All of them in the profession of fact-checking. - Conan O'Brien

Donald Trump’s running mate Mike Pence said that his role model for the vice presidency is Dick Cheney. To prove it, this weekend Pence had six heart attacks and shot his friend in the face.- Conan O'Brien


 Click here to meet C.W.


Rock The Voter News

It’s come out that Hillary Clinton is having a hard time connecting with millennial voters. So now she’s saying that last week’s coughing spell was actually due to a massive bong hit.- Conan O'Brien

Don't Mess With Texas!
Back in July, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 5th Circuit ruled that Texas’ draconian new voter ID requirements are illegal under the federal Voting Rights Act because they discriminate against minorities. In accordance with that decision, U.S. District Judge Nelva Gonzales Ramos forbade the state from enforcing the blocked law or disenfranchising voters who lack ID.
But Texas quickly violated this court order by actively misleading voters about ID requirements in statements to the press and official voting materials.


 Click here to visit Wattensaw Press


When asked point-blank whether he considered women humans, the billionaire responded, “It should be a case-by-case thing.”- Andy Borowitz

Biz/Tech News

How To Navigate Trump's Wall
Drug smugglers employ very creative methods to get their loads across the U.S.-Mexico border.
But it's not every day they use a van outfitted with a 10-foot (3-meter) air cannon to shoot projectiles into the United States...Smugglers have even used heavy equipment and ladders to hoist trucks loaded with marijuana over the border fence, which in parts of Arizona can go as high as 26 feet (7.9 meters).

One thing Trump never used Trump Foundation funds to pay for was dignity. - Jeff Tiedrich



Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

Oldest known photo of a Tornado, 20 miles SW of Howard, South Dakota, US. Aug. 28, 1884.


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