All Hat No Cattle: The Slow Motion COUP D'ETAT Guide

Texas AG: County clerks can refuse gay couples
County clerks can refuse to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples based on religious objections to gay marriage, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton said Sunday.

So this week conservatives said the Pope shouldn't follow his beliefs but government clerks should decide who God wants to get married.- LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

Jesus was anti-death penalty & never mentioned abortion. Of course, that's only if you believe what's actually in the Bible.- John Fugelsang

Yep. Torture Before Execution Is Legal. I Hear Cheney Laughing.
A deeply divided Supreme Court upheld the use of a controversial drug in lethal-injection executions Monday, even as two dissenting justices said for the first time they think it's "highly likely" the death penalty itself is unconstitutional.

BREAKING: Pro-lifers excited to pursue more botched executions.- LOLGOP

Gay love exists in over 1,500 species — gay hate exists in one.—
- John Fugelsang

Michele Bachmann's Husband Files For Divorce
Fresh on the heels of today’s decision by the Supreme Court that the right to same-sex marriage is guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution, comes news from Minnesota that Marcus Bachmann, husband of former Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, has filed for divorce.

Republican Shenanigans

Q: why was Brian Williams fired for lying but not Bill O'Reilly?
A: because Brian Williams works for a news organization. - John Fugelsang

The Bristol Stomp
Bristol Palin, daughter of former Alaskan half-term Governor Sarah Palin, pushed back at critics who mocked her second unwed pregnancy, calling them “giddy a$$hole(s)” and saying her latest pregnancy was planned.

Sarah Palin went on Facebook to announce that her daughter Bristol's wedding has been called off. She said the two families will still get together on the wedding day to "celebrate life." In other words, the caterers already have been paid for.- Jimmy Fallon

Obama triumphantly declared that the Affordable Care Act is here to stay. Then he went into the Rose Garden and secretly puffed on an e-cigarette. - Jimmy Kimmel

This is the moment Obama found out about the healthcare ruling.

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal is running for president. This is historic. He's a 44-year-old Indian-American whose real first name is Piyush. After hearing about it, President Obama said, "A young, non-white guy with a crazy name? Good luck with that."- Conan O'Brien

Rock The Voter News

Republicans Lose On Voter Registration
The U.S. Supreme Court on Monday declined to hear a new case on voter registration in Arizona and Kansas, meaning the two states will not be able to require applicants to show proof of citizenship.

In 2014 a single mom w/1 child working min wage full time lives below the poverty line. So now, an article on thigh gap.- John Fugelsang

GET THE HELL OUT OF MY COUNTRY THAT I WANT TO SECEDE FROM!- LOLGOP

Sean Hannity asked yesterday why it is OK for President Obama's teenage daughters to go into stores and buy music chock-full of the N-word but not the Confederate flag. But how can you explain that to a guy who thinks kids still go into a store to buy music?- Seth Myers

Business/Tech News

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal announced that he’s running for president, which makes him the 13th Republican to enter the race so far. Yeah, 13 Republican candidates — or as that’s also called, “A Banker’s Dozen.”- Jimmy Fallon

Meanwhile: China To Help Greece?
China's Premier Li Keqiang said on Monday he wants to see Greece remain in the euro zone and promised that Beijing would make investments in the European Union's new infrastructure fund.

Is the Texas GOP more afraid of gay people getting married, working people getting health insurance or Obama invading?- LOLGOP