All Hat No Cattle: Obama appoints Ebola czar; Texas health worker isolated on ship

Obama appoints Ebola czar; Texas health worker isolated on ship
resident Barack Obama appointed an Ebola czar for the United States on Friday, and the government said a Texas health worker who may have had contact with specimens from an Ebola patient was isolated on a cruise ship.

So small town sheriff departments have tanks and sound cannons but a hospital in Dallas doesn't have hazmat suits?- Tina Dupuy

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

A new poll shows that only a slim majority of Americans think the country is prepared for an Ebola outbreak. But I think we deal with outbreaks pretty well. It only took us a couple of months to completely eradicate Gangnam Style.- Seth Myers

U.S. Ebola Fighters Headed To Liberia
Some 65 U.S. medical personnel will arrive in the next week or so to staff a U.S.-military built hospital in Liberia that will treat healthcare workers who contract Ebola, a centrepiece of U.S. efforts to fight the epidemic, a top general said Thursday.

During an interview, Senator John McCain declared that the U.S. isn't winning the war against ISIS. Even ISIS said, “Well, not with THAT attitude.”- Jimmy Fallon

Republican Shenanigans

First Republican who says the Ebola cruise ship shouldn't be allowed to return to America wins a date with Ted Cruz.- LOLGOP

Conservative Actor Bids Adieu To GOP
Hollywood is often portrayed by conservatives as a liberal paradise. Even though it’s true that many actors and actresses have liberal views, there are a few who are right at home in the GOP. Unfortunately for the Republican Party, Robert Duvall is no longer one of them.
Actor Robert Duvall exits the Republican Party, stage left

I GUESS IT'S GOOD WE HAVE AN EBOLA CZAR AS LONG AS HE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT GUN VIOLENCE. - LOLGOP

America. Where the millionaires are jealous of the people on food stamps. - LOLGOP

Karl Rove and Chemical Weapons
There’s one man, some Republicans say, who kept the public from learning about the chemical shells littered around Iraq. He was Bush's most important political adviser.
Starting in 2004, some members of the George W. Bush administration and Republican lawmakers began to find evidence of discarded chemical weapons in Iraq. But when the information was brought up with the White House, senior adviser Karl Rove told them to “let these sleeping dogs lie.”

Rock The Voter News

Another Cocaine Casualty: Biden's Son
The son of U.S. Vice President Joe Biden has been discharged from the military, reportedly after testing positive for cocaine.

A running back for the Dallas Cowboys was arrested for shoplifting $123 worth of underpants and cologne. He was planning a big night out, I guess. I'm sure the NFL is thinking to themselves, "Oh, thank God it was just shoplifting."- David Letterman

And Now A Word From America's Top Evangelical Scientist
TV preacher Pat Robertson warned his viewers this week that they needed to be careful when traveling to African countries like Kenya because “the towels could have AIDS.”

We're actually having an election to see which 435 Americans get a two-year taxpayer-funded vacation.- LOLGOP

Remember when Ebola killed thousands of Americans and Obama wouldn't even mention it? Oh wait, that was AIDS and Reagan. Carry on, FOX.- John Fugelsang

Armchair Ebola Quarterbacks Get Sidelined
The sight of a man with a clipboard standing near medical personel clad head-to-toe in hazmat gear was unusual enough to have many people wondering who he was. But the medical agency behind Ebola patient Amber Vinson’s transport said his presence wasn’t strange at all.

There's a type of American who learned nothing last decade, just got louder, dumber, angrier & meaner. I call them 'The Illiteratti.'- John Fugelsang

If the Palins had just waited a few weeks they could've blamed their dysfunctional family brawl on gay marriage in Alaska.- John Fugelsang

Business/Tech News

3D Printer Building Homes For The Homeless
Nearly one billion people around the globe are homeless or live in substandard housing. In the era of 3D printing, some have addressed this crisis through quickly built concrete buildings. While this method would create a secure dwelling, delivering the raw materials and bulky printer increases the cost significantly, reducing its feasibility. The Italian 3D printing company WASP may have solved this problem by developing an easily-transportable machine that can quickly create dwellings out of mud and natural fibers—materials already available where the houses will be built.

If the US was a 'Christian Nation' people would vote to help the poor and let private charities bail out Wall Street. - JohnFugelsang