All Hat No Cattle: Ukraine Says 2 Fighter Jets Are Shot Down as Clashes Intensify

Ukraine Says 2 Fighter Jets Are Shot Down as Clashes Intensify
Fighting intensified in the rebel-controlled region of Ukraine on Wednesday, with military officials reporting that two Ukrainian Su-25 fighter jets had been shot down near the village of Dmytrivka in the east.

Hey everybody in the world this would be a good time to thank Russia for making your own politicians look very very good.- John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

Breaking News: The name of the Russian Rocket Launcher was Ivan Youpushthewrongswitvch.

The British Are Coming! The British Are Coming! To The Aid Of Russia!
Britain is still authorizing the export of arms and military equipment to Russia despite the government's call for tough sanctions over Moscow's arming of separatist rebels in Ukraine, a group of lawmakers said in a report Wednesday.

President Kennedy said let's put a man on the moon, and by God, 10 years later we put a man on the moon. Monday was the 45th anniversary. Nowadays a big deal for us is we combined the croissant and the doughnut to get a cronut. - David Letterman

"In Republican fantasy world, everything is always Obama's fault. Somehow, he's weak and he's ineffective, and yet he pulls the strings on everything in the world." - Bill Maher

Republican Shenanigans

How will Republicans try to take away your health insurance today?- LOLGOP

GOP Governor Whines About Eight Child Refugees
Maine Governor Paul LePage blasted the White House on Tuesday for placing in his state eight children who tried to cross the border illegally.

New Anti-Abortion Legislation Requires Doctors To Scale 18-Foot Wall Surrounding Clinic. - The Onion

NRA: Arming Our Children
NRA commentator Billy Johnson this week proposed that children be forced to learn shooting skills in order to graduate as part of a plan to enact “gun-required zones” in the United States, and use taxpayer money to subsidize firearm purchases.

"Marvel Comics announced that the next Captain America will be black. He has the same powers as white Captain America, except he has to show I.D. when he votes." - Bill Maher

Rock The Voter News

CNN Anchor Spars With Russia Today Anchor
In a contentious live interview on CNN Wednesday, "New Day" anchor Chris Cuomo sparred with Russia Today anchor Peter Lavelle over Russia's response to the downing of Flight MH17, with Cuomo at one point accusing Lavelle of "carrying water for Russia."

Officials are concerned that people in Los Angeles are too apathetic about the drought. We're not doing anything about it. Of course, that will change next week when we announce that the drought is killing all the marijuana crops. - Conan O'Brien

The federal government should agree to pay for Rick Perry's National Guard deployment if he'll take Medicaid expansion for 1 million Texans. - LOLGOP

Wah! Obama Is Sending Illegal Immigrant Kids All Over The Country!
U.S. Sen. Chuck Grassley, R-Iowa, is criticizing President Barack Obama's administration for failing to inform Iowa Gov. Terry Branstad that at least 139 immigrant children have been sent to Iowa who were detained by the Border Patrol after crossing the border from Mexico.

Koch Brothers Hacking The Internet One App At A Time
The hackathon — an event in which teams compete to build new apps and programs within a short period of time — was part of the first inaugural Reboot, conference where hundreds of conservative hackers, coders, designers, tech entrepreneurs and conservative political activists joined some of the nation’s top Republicans to strategize and — ideally — emerge with The Next Great App. As an incentive, the conference organizers offered $10,000 in prize money to be awarded to the best ideas.

Business/Tech News

The Aurora killer was able to legally buy 6000 rounds of ammo online and Tommy Chong was put in jail for selling bongs.- John Fugelsang

Boing Boing Boeing
Boeing shares were losing altitude Wednesday as investors fret about about yet another of the aerospace giant’s program running into turbulence.