All Hat No Cattle: Obama to meet Central America leaders, migrant numbers fall: officials

Obama to meet Central America leaders, migrant numbers fall: officials
President Barack Obama will meet with the leaders of Honduras, Guatemala and El Salvador next week to discuss cooperation on the influx of child migrants from Central America into the United States, the White House said on Friday.

God, grant me the serenity to yell at immigrant children, the courage to still say I'm a Christian, and the ignorance to not get the irony. - Rex Huppke

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

Finally!
Malaysia has reached an agreement with Aleksander Borodai, leader of the separatist group in eastern Ukraine, to retrieve the bodies of the victims of MH17, Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak said on Tuesday.

Even though both Israel and Hamas fired on one another during the five-hour humanitarian period yesterday, the U.N. secretary general said both sides "mostly respected" the cease-fire. That's like leaving the house without pants and saying you're "mostly dressed."- Seth Myers

Ceasefire Called By UN
The UN Security Council has called for an immediate ceasefire between Israel and Palestinian militants in Gaza.

It comes as US Secretary of State John Kerry heads to Cairo for talks on the crisis amid a mounting death toll.

More than 500 Palestinians, mainly civilians, have been killed since the Israeli offensive began 13 days ago, Gaza's health ministry says.

CNN: Obama calls downed plane an "outrage"

MSNBC: Eloquent Obama eulogizes crash victims

Fox News: TYRANT! GOLF! OBAMA...BAD BLACK MAN!!- Rex Huppke

Republican Shenanigans

Weird. Canada has same-sex marriage, guaranteed abortion coverage and Medicare for all -- yet their Christians aren't flooding our borders.- LOLGOP

Califurnace
The first six months of 2014 were the hottest ever in California, according to the National Weather Service.

The period was nearly 5 degrees warmer than the 20th century average and more than a degree hotter than the record set in 1934, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration said.

Rick Perry to send the National Guard to shoo refugee children and let them know how "pro-life" he is.- LOLGOP

Rock The Voter News

They didn't tell us the only thing that would trickle down is the quality of George Bushes. - LOLGOP

Politico Polls 63% of Americans Rating Hillary as Excellent to Fair As Secretary of State. Politico Calls Numbers Unimpressive
A majority of voters are unimpressed with Hillary Clinton’s performance as secretary of state, according to a new POLITICO poll.
Just 14 percent described her time at State — she served four years ending in February 2013 — as “excellent,” while 28 percent defined it as “good.” Twenty-one percent called it “fair,” and 32 percent rated her performance “poor.” Six percent weren’t sure or declined to answer.

Ted Cruz: "My plan will solve the border crisis by deporting everyone who immigrated after my dad did, thereby closing America forever."- Top Conservative Cat

Business/Tech News

Malaysian Airlines = Bankruptcy
Embattled Malaysia Airlines could file for bankruptcy this week as it struggles to stay afloat after two tragic disasters in less than six months.

People love the new Pope, but I think it's safe to say he's gone crazy. Now he's thinking about doing away with celibacy for priests. Are you like me? Are you thinking "Real Housewives of the Vatican?"- David Letterman