All Hat No Cattle

Monday, September 16, 2019

The Ongoing Saga of Brett Kavanaugh

Trump: 'Radical left Democrats' and 'LameStream Media' want to scare Kavanaugh into 'turning Liberal'
..."Now the Radical Left Democrats and their Partner, the LameStream Media, are after Brett Kavanaugh again, talking loudly of their favorite word, impeachment," he tweeted. "He is an innocent man who has been treated HORRIBLY. Such lies about him."

Good morning. The Supreme Court of the United States of America is currently 30% female, 70% male, and 22% sexual predator. - OhNoSheTwint

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

[Obama slightly bows to a Saudi royal to show respect]
HE’S A SECRET MUSLIM TERRORIST!
[Trump licks Saudi Arabian boots and takes everything they say as facts]
REMEMBER WHEN THE BLACK GUY BOWED? - OhNoSheTwint

The Russians Always Said They Would Destroy the USA From Within
...The compromise of FBI systems occurred not long after the White House’s 2010 decision to arrest and expose a group of “illegals” – Russian operatives embedded in American society under deep non-official cover – and reflected a resurgence of Russian espionage. Just a few months after the illegals pleaded guilty in July 2010, the FBI opened a new investigation into a group of New York-based undercover Russian intelligence officers. These Russian spies, the FBI discovered, were attempting to recruit a ring of U.S. assets — including Carter Page, an American businessman who would later act as an unpaid foreign policy adviser to Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign.

Kavanaugh Desperately Seeking Witnesses Who Ever Saw Him Wearing Pants . - Andy Borowitz

Heartbreaking Alert: How the USA Treats Their Dogs of War.
Bomb-sniffing dogs sent from the United States to its Middle Eastern ally Jordan are falling ill and dying due to poor treatment and negligence, a federal investigation has found.
A year-long evaluation by inspectors at the State Department found that at least 10 such dogs in Jordan died between 2008 and 2016 from medical problems. Even those who survive are suffering from "unhealthy conditions," such as inadequate kennels, poor sanitation, and overwork.

Blackout Brett Kavanaugh is probably so f*cking drunk right now. - Jeff Tiedrich

Republican Shenanigans

Starting to think that giving men the right to vote was a mistake. - OhNoSheTwint

How about the FBI, that we already pay taxes for, do its damned job and investigate Kavanaugh the way it should have in the first place... - Scott Bodenheimer

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Rock The Voter News

After watching Pompeo destroy the State Dept, Barr weaponize the DOJ and Trump defile the presidency, it’s a naive notion to believe these scoundrels will ever allow themselves to be voted out of power.
We must use every Constitutional weapon to fight this evil. - Tea Pain

You Say You're Too Busy To Impeach Kavanaugh? Quit Taking So Many Vacations!
Judiciary chairman throws cold water on Kavanaugh impeachment. Jerry Nadler says the committee is too busy 'impeaching the president' to consider investigating the Supreme Court justice.

How awesome is it that when Roe v Wade is finally overturned, the deciding vote will be cast by the guy who was so blackout drunk all through high school and college that he can't remember how many women he sexually assaulted. ace f*cking job there, America, take a victory lap. - Jeff Tiedrich

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Business/Tech News

Felicity Huffman and her husband

There’s at least a 50% chance Trump thinks Netflix is a country. - Rex Huppke

No night watchman? Seriously?

Overnight Sailing Tip: Make Sure Your Cruise Has a Night Watchman
No crew members were on watch when a fire broke out on a dive boat last week near Santa Cruz Island, Calif., killing 34 people, federal investigators said Thursday.
The six-member crew was asleep at the time, five in berths behind the wheelhouse and one in a bunkroom, according to the National Transportation Safety Board’s (NTSB) two-page preliminary report.

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Friday, September 13, 2019

Trump is so jealous: Russia raids scores of homes, offices of Putin critic's supporters

Russia raids scores of homes, offices of Putin critic's supporters
Kremlin critic Alexei Navalny’s supporters had their homes and offices raided Thursday by Russian law enforcement just days after President Vladimir Putin's ruling United Russia Party lost a third of its seats in the Moscow assembly, according to reports.

Shout out to Trump for making every day so horrifying that Friday the 13th has lost all meaning. - OhNoSheTwint

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

North Koreans haven’t gone to war in over 60 years, but look at all the medals their generals are wearing, we could defeat them with a magnet

I Love the Lynn Cheney/Rand Paul Feud!
House Republican Conference Chairwoman Liz Cheney (Wyo.) on Friday extended her war of words with Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.), arguing that Americans are not supportive of his isolationist views.
“The American people — Republicans, in particular — are not isolationists," Cheney told reporters during a leadership press conference at the House GOP retreat.

The question shouldn't be who won the Dem debate. Relative to the current occupant of the Oval Office, every one of them was a winner. - Robert Reich

Republican Shenanigans

Can you imagine a Melania debate vs. Michelle Obama? - Jesse Lifson

I'm Surprised Ivanka Can Talk With That Big Foot In Her Mouth
Ivanka tells donors she got her moral compass from her dad. Trump’s family and allies are getting personal with donors, dishing out morsels about life in the White House.

Trump “is treating farmers like poker chips in one of his bankrupt casinos.” — Amy Klobuchar

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For those concerned about the occasional Biden gaffe, remember this.
Gaffes don’t lock little children in cages. - Tea Pain

Rock The Voter News

Debate Viewers Struggle with Concept of President Without Glaring Personality Disorder - Andy Borowitz

Democrats Shouldn't Go This Low
Former Democratic National Committee chairman and Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell sparked a firestorm on social media by escalating attacks on Elizabeth Warren ahead of Thursday’s closely watched debate, assailing her as a “hypocrite” in an op-ed.

The fact ABC ran an ad featuring a picture of AOC on fire with skulls and dead bodies in the background during the Dem debate last night—and the fact they hired Sean Spicer—tells you everything you ever need to know about the network. - Scott Dworkin

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Once upon a time, everybody distrusted the weatherman.
Then technology became so advanced, everybody could finally trust the weatherman.
Then Donald Trump became POTUS & Wilbur Ross ordered the weatherman to lie to everybody. - John Fugelsang

Business/Tech News

Just heard Trump say “it’s easy to work with me because I make all the decisions” and I am so using this line in my next job interview. - goldengateblond tweet

NRA Is Having a Sad
A new lawsuit in the seemingly endless list of legal disputes stemming from the National Rifle Association’s slow implosion pits Wayne LaPierre against a longtime friend.
LaPierre and former Reagan-era deputy assistant defense secretary Tony Makris teamed up decades ago. That relationship now appears to be over.

"The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it." - George Orwell

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Thursday, September 12, 2019

Federal prosecutors recommend that Andrew McCabe, former FBI second-in-command, face criminal charge

Federal prosecutors recommend that Andrew McCabe, former FBI second-in-command, face criminal charge
WASHINGTON – Federal prosecutors recommended seeking criminal charges against Andrew McCabe, the former deputy director of the FBI and a frequent target of criticism by President...

Please tell me again how Andrew McCabe and a bunch of lifelong Republicans in the FBI colluded with Russia and Hillary to lose her own election so that Trump would win so that then the deep state could take him down because f*ck yes that all makes perfect sense to me derpity derp. - Jeff Tiedrich

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Fact: More people have died in Trump's concentration camps than have died from vaping. - Tarz tweet

The Mossad Is In D.C.?
The U.S. government concluded within the last two years that Israel was most likely behind the placement of cell-phone surveillance devices that were found near the White House and other sensitive locations around Washington, D.C., according to three former senior U.S. officials with knowledge of the matter.

Vaping is very bad for children’s health and I’m glad to hear it will no longer be allowed in their concentration camp cages. - Jess Dweck

Republican Shenanigans

Republicans on e-cigarettes:“We want a ban!”

Republicans on abortion:“We want a ban!”

Republicans on immigration:“We want a ban!”

Republicans on trans military members:“We want a ban!”

Republicans on gay marriage:“We want a ban!”

Republicans on guns: “BANS DON’T WORK!!!” - Andrea Junker

Lonely Black Republican Leaves Party
Gregory Cheadle, the black man President Donald Trump once described at a rally as “my African American,” is fed up.
After two years of frustration with the president’s rhetoric on race and the lack of diversity in the administration, Cheadle told PBS NewsHour he has decided to leave the Republican party and run for a seat in the U.S. House of Representative as an independent in 2020

I like hearing "Don't politicize 9/11" from people who exploited 9/11 to invade the wrong country. - John Fugelsang

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Rock The Voter News

Raise your hand if you think we should allow the Bahamians to come here and deport Melania. - Stone tweet

House Impeachment Inquiry Formed! Will It Be Televised?
The House Judiciary Committee on Thursday approved a resolution defining the rules of the panel's impeachment investigation, the first vote the committee has taken related to the potential impeachment of President Donald Trump.
The party-line vote came as House Democrats have struggled to define the committee's probe, with Judiciary Chairman Jerry Nadler saying the committee is conducting an impeachment inquiry, while House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and other Democratic leaders are refraining from calling it that.

WOW.

No word yet from Trump on which member of the Taliban will be replacing John Bolton. - Chelsea Handler

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YES, IT'S TRUE!! Melania, whose kid does not smoke, is worried about 6 people who died vaping, (according to #Bonehead, her spouse, the louse), but the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS who died in mass shootings and gun violence don't seem to bother her! #Shejustdoesntcaredoyou - Bette Midler tweet

Business/Tech News

The odds of living to 100 will double by 2020, as will the odds of having to work at Walmart until you're 98. - John Fugelsang

Trump Says He Looks Better Under Incandescent Lights
President Trump quipped at a Monday evening rally that his administration’s rollback of energy efficiency standards for light bulbs was due to the fact that he looked better under less efficient bulbs.
"I'm not a vain person. ... But I look better under an incandescent light than these crazy lights that are beaming down," Trump told a crowd in Fayetteville, N.C., on Monday.

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