All Hat No Cattle

Monday, October 14, 2019

Kurds look to Syria for protection after U.S. pullout

Kurds look to Syria for protection after U.S. pullout
Syria’s Kurds said Syrian government forces agreed Sunday to help them fend off Turkey’s invasion — a major shift in alliances that came after President Donald Trump ordered all U.S. troops withdrawn from the northern border area amid the rapidly deepening chaos.

In one swift move Donald Trump has just un-defeated ISIS. - Ed Solomon

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Turks blew up a nine year old girl, blowing off her legs. Trump gave the green light for this.
67% of evangelicals support him.
Seriously, you sons of bitches? Hating gays is worth the murder of children?
We are all learning where we would have lined up in Nazi Germany. - Kurt Eichenwald

Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin on Turkey: "We've put them on warning. The president has authorized me to effectively shut down the entire Turkey economy and we can do that at a moments notice on his command"

Australia Points Finger at Turkey
Australia’s foreign minister says Turkey is solely responsible for the escape of Islamic State group fighters from custody in Syria.
Foreign Minister Marise Payne was commenting in the Australian Senate after hundreds of Islamic State families and supporters escaped from a holding camp on Sunday amid fighting between Turkish forces and the Kurds.

Kurdish forces just called for Syrian army to take control of Turkish border. Looks like the end of the Kurds mini-state protected by the United States. - Richard Engel, NBC News

Republican Shenanigans

America 2019: traitors writing foreign policy, racists writing immigration policy, thieves writing economic policy, polluters writing environmental policy, ignoramuses writing science policy, a hired goon heading the department of justice and One F-cking Moron to Rule Them All. - Jeff Tiedrich

Hey, Nancy Pelosi, Have You Seen This?
Glenn Simpson and Peter Fritsch, the two former journalists who founded the open-source intel firm Fusion GPS, announced they are publishing a book detailing President Donald Trump’s ties to Russia.
Most notably, the upcoming work, which is being published by Penguin Books, goes into how Simpson and Fritsch hired ex-MI6 agent Christopher Steele to create an opposition research file on Trump in the lead-up to the 2016 election; parts of the Steele dossier — first picked up by a conservative news outlet investigating Trump and later by the Clinton campaign — were cited by FBI investigators looking into the president and his allies’ connections with the Russian government and Kremlin-tied individuals. The president has dubbed the document the “PHONEY Steele Dossier,” but the new book’s authors argue that their research has been proven to be largely correct.

Shep Smith was a thin lay of icing on the Fox News seven-layer b-llshit-racist-arsenic cake. - driftglass

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When Michelle said “When they go low, we go high” - I don’t think anyone knew or understood how low they could actually go. - Ida Skibenes

Rock The Voter News

Remember the good old days, when Sarah Palin was the standard for batsh*t crazy? - Hoodlum tweet

Approving a trillion dollar military budget but not healthcare/education for all is a lot like a family foregoing groceries and school books so they can buy a Viking sword. - Justin Horowitz

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Business/Tech News

I have never seen an American president take such glee in personally attacking American citizens. - Dan Rather

Take A Deep Breath. NO, WAIT!
Fired EPA scientists to release air pollution report they say agency unqualified to issue. “In the history of the agency this has never happened. The new panel is unqualified and the new panel has said they were unqualified,” said a former EPA official.

Nation’s Indigenous People Confirm They Don’t Need Special Holiday, Just Large Swaths Of Land Returned Immediately - The Onion

Me after watching 15 minutes of Masterchef

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Friday, October 11, 2019

Ex-Ukraine ambassador suggests Giuliani associates played role in her ouster

Ex-Ukraine ambassador suggests Giuliani associates played role in her ouster
The former U.S. ambassador to Ukraine abruptly recalled from her post by President Trump earlier this year told Congress that she suspects Rudy Giuliani pushed for her ouster on behalf of two of his associates who were arrested this week for an alleged foreign influence scheme.

Is there anything more joyful than the sound of many whistles blowin'? - Tea Pain

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Trump announces he will send more troops to Saudi Arabia than will be withdrawn from Syria to protect the Kurds, proving his only real reason for sending troops is their ability of other countries to pad his pockets. - Justin Horowitz

Ukraine President Holds Longest Press Conference Ever.
Volodymyr Zelensky, a popular comedian before he was elected president of Ukraine this spring, promised to bring a fresh kind of politics to the ex-Soviet nation.
And on Thursday, he did what no politician had done before -- a more than 12-hour press conference that Ukraine's National Records Agency declared the longest in world history.

Christian Fundamentalists: If Trump was a Democrat, you’d be screaming that he was the antichrist. - Stephen King

Republican Shenanigans

If you're feeling down, ask yourself what's going to be more enjoyable:Trump and Giuliani publicly turning on each other, orTrump and Lindsey Graham publicly turning on each other.

Because both will happen. - John Fugelsang

Nothing To See Here, Move Along
Attorney General Bill Barr privately met with Fox Corporation Chairman Rupert Murdoch at Murdoch’s home in New York, according to a new report.
The New York Times reported that Barr met with Murdoch on Wednesday evening:
“The meeting was held at Mr. Murdoch’s home in New York, according to someone familiar with it. It was unclear if anyone else attended or what was discussed. Aides to both Mr. Murdoch and Mr. Barr declined requests for comment on the meeting.”

Trump's hit on Biden as an ass-kisser while a dreamy-eyed Mike Pence swooned stage right also exhausted a massive amount of our national irony supply. - Rick Wilson

All the President's Consiglieres
The president’s decision to bulk up his legal team with former South Carolina Rep. Trey Gowdy amid a widening impeachment inquiry is drawing criticism from one of his high-profile supporters...“Trey Gowdy doesn’t know s***,”...

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Rock The Voter News

A man asked Liz Warren “What would you say to someone who said ‘I believe a marriage is between one man and one woman.’?

Warren: “I’d tell them to just marry one woman... if they can find one.”

Roody Colludy Is Knee Deep In Ukraine Henchmen
It was at the Trump International Hotel.
That's where Rudy Giuliani, the president's personal lawyer, huddled Wednesday with two foreign contacts who had been central to a campaign urging Ukrainian authorities to open an investigation into President Donald Trump’s Democratic rival Joe Biden.
By dinner time, Giuliani’s Ukrainian lunch partners, Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman, were placed under arrest by FBI agents at Dulles International Airport, as they clutched one-way tickets to Frankfurt, Germany.
What has since spilled from federal authorities and court documents are details of a tangled criminal inquiry highlighting the efforts of Parnas and Fruman to funnel huge caches of foreign money to U.S. political campaigns – a troubling narrative that now intersects with Congress’ fast-moving inquiry into the impeachment of the president.

Trump Furious After Nobel Committee Gives Him Participation Trophy. - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

STUDY: Millions Could Be Saved by Impeaching Pence at the Same Time. - Andy Borowitz

Listeria Alert!
Do you store chicken in your freezer? You might want to take a look at the label.
In late September, Tip Top Poultry, Inc. issued a voluntary recall of all "cooked, hot deboned fowl meat" due to possible Listeria contamination. On Tuesday, Tip Top expanded it to include additional products and retailers.

Someone just said to me that Mike Pence looks like an unflavored gummy bear and that couldn't be more perfect. - Roland Scahill

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FALL FUNDRAISER

Pretty please with sprinkles on top?

Thursday, October 10, 2019

Turkey Contradicts Trump on Custody of Jihadists Jailed in Syria

Turkey Contradicts Trump on Custody of Jihadists Jailed in Syria
Turkey will take custody of Islamic State prisoners only in areas of northern Syria where Turkish troops are trying to create a buffer, Foreign Minister Mevlut Cavusoglu said on Thursday, contradicting a key claim made by President Donald Trump.

In the end, Trump may be defeated by his greatest weakness. His Achilles’ mouth. - Stephan Colbert

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Kurds Tell Trump They Did Not Help US in WW2 Due To Bone Spurs - Andy Borowitz

You know the world is f-cked up when you start to wonder if genocide could be prevented if the president of the United States owned a hotel in Kurdistan. - Elle De Sylva

Is The Consigliere Implicated?
Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman, who helped Giuliani pursue an investigation into the Bidens in Ukraine, were arrested late Wednesday on criminal charges of violating campaign finance rules.

Trump said he's 'obliterated' Turkey before, and I believe him. He's a dangerous man at a Thanksgiving buffet. - Stephen Colbert

Republican Shenanigans

Trump is currently at the flush-the-meth-down-the-toilet phase of his Presidency. - Andy Borowitz

Our US Troops Are Trump's Pawns
I just spoke to a distraught US Special Forces soldier who is among the 1000 or so US troops in Syria tonight who is serving alongside the SDF Kurdish forces. It was one of the hardest phone calls I have ever taken
“I am ashamed for the first time in my career.”

I appreciate Lindsey Graham's ardent desire to protect Kurdish democracy, but I wish he felt as strongly about American democracy. - Andy Borowitz

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Of course, in Australia, Trump goes down the drain in the other direction. - Stephen Colbert

Rock The Voter News

Rudy's partners: arrested

Cohen: 3 yrs in prison

Manafort: 4 yrs in prison

Stone: in deep sh-t

Flynn: awaiting sentencing

Congressman-1: so f-cked

Individual-1: facing impeachment

Hillary: enjoying a nice walk in the woods, probably

Me: laughing at all you "lock her up" morons. - Jeff Tiedrich

Most Americans Want Trump Impeached
An increasing number of Americans are in favor of seeing President Donald Trump both impeached and removed from office, with five polls in recent days showing a majority of people supporting the ongoing impeachment inquiry.
The most recent poll, from Fox News, showed that 51 percent of respondents wanted to see Trump impeached and removed from office, with a further 4 percent believing the president should be impeached but not removed from office.

Happy birthday, Jimmy Carter! If you ever feel like trying that second term, there might be an opening soon. - Stephen Colbert

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Business/Tech News

I’m beginning to think Child Protective Services needs to assess whether Barron is in an appropriate environment for a teen since it appears Donald Trump and his family choose to associate with so many criminals. - Col. Morris Davis

The Walrus is Going After the Egg Man
President Trump's former national security adviser John Bolton has decided to write a book about his time in the Trump administration, according to 2 people familiar with the matter. Bolton has agreed to be represented by Javelin's Matt Latimer and Keith Urbahn.

I aspire to be like the planet and get hotter and hotter until I die. - Sarah Beattie

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FALL FUNDRAISER