Friday, September 19, 2014

Bill Clinton tells Jon Stewart: ‘We can’t win a ground war in Iraq — we proved that’







rmer President Bill Clinton endorsed the U.S.’ current approach to targeting the extremist group Islamic State (ISIS) on Thursday in an interview with Daily Show host Jon Stewart.




BREAKING: Bill Clinton tells Daily Show he will run for President in 2016 “though technically I think you’ll have to vote for my wife.”- LOLGOP









The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam




Paper Terrorism By The Far Right
Earlier this year, a self-professed member of a nationwide extremist movement was charged with threatening and harassing a judge and 27 local officials in three South Jersey counties — and he's far from alone....sovereign citizens seeking retribution from court officials will often file such a lien on a judge's home, forcing them to potentially spend thousands of dollars to clear their title.



I don't mind putting American boots on the ground in Syria & Iraq, I'd just prefer American troops to not be wearing them.- John Fugelsang







Republican Shenanigans





FOX NEWS: SCOTLAND UNABLE TO MOVE OUT OF PARENTS THANKS TO OBAMA ECONOMY. - LOLGOP








Teletubbie Televangelist Lashes Out At Jews
TV preacher Pat Robertson lashed out at a “Jewish radical” on Thursday who he said was responsible for God being removed from the Air Force oath.








If the United States had 87% turnout for an election, Floridans will still be in line to vote from 2012.- LOLGOP




Rock The Voter News









On this day in 1831 Darwin landed in the Galapagos, where he was met by Satan and given a plan to trick biology students into going to Hell.-  Top Conservative Cat





The Real Welfare Queens
One vote on war and Congress is apparently all tuckered out.

House leaders announced Thursday that they were cutting their already abbreviated fall session short and sending lawmakers back home – and onto the campaign trail – more than a week early.














So if we start a rumor that ISIS is hiding in the US Public School system will Congress find a few billion?- John Fugelsang





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Scotland Inspires U.S. Secessionists
 The failed Scottish vote to pull out from the United Kingdom stirred secessionist hopes for some in the United States, where almost a quarter of people are open to their states leaving the union, a new Reuters/Ipsos poll found.









Business/Tech News





The NFL doesn't deserve non-profit status. That's for billionaires to avoid accountability and plunder at the expense of workers!- LOLGOP









GOP Congress Still Ignoring The Border
Congress' must-pass budget bill ignores the Obama administration's request to accelerate spending on immigration courts to handle the flood of unaccompanied minors at the border — even as it boosts spending flexibility for Border Patrol agents and detention centers.




In 10 years I'm opening up a tattoo removal parlor called 'Mom, What's That Thing On Your Lower Back?'- John Fugelsang







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Trolltunga, Hardangerfjord, Norway.

Peace.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Proposed gift to FSU from Koch foundation in 2007 came with strings attached





Proposed gift to FSU from Koch foundation in 2007 came with strings attached
In 2007, when the Charles Koch Foundation considered giving millions of dollars to Florida State University's economics department, the offer came with strings attached.



FSU is my alma mater...head in hands. 



Koch-supported GOP candidates for Senate thank the Kochs for the chance to help the Kochs get richer. - LOLGOP









The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam




Apparently the subject of today's Benghazi hearing was "What was your favorite Benghazi hearing?"- LOLGOP




The Tower Of Benghazi Babble
Fox News' coverage of an evidence-free "bombshell" from Benghazi hoaxster Sharyl Attkisson took just hours to morph from a reiteration of her claim that a disgruntled former State Department employee "couldn't help but wonder" if Hillary Clinton's staff had turned over "scrubbed" Benghazi documents to investigators into full-blown allegations that documents had been "destroyed" -- allegations that remain baseless.









President Obama hosted a picnic at the White House today for members of Congress. Obama said it was a great opportunity to gather every member of Congress in one place — so he could turn on the sprinklers. Payback!- Jimmy Fallon




Bible Thumper Loss
The U.S. Air Force has reversed its position on requiring enlisted members and officers to swear an oath containing the phrase, "So help me God," the Secretary of the Air Force Public Affairs Office announced today. 











Many say "I whoop my kids to keep them out of jail." Um, I bet if you took a poll you'd find our jails are full of the formerly whooped. - Andy Richter Tweet










Republican Shenanigans



Congress has time for:

50+ Obamacare repeals
Half-a-trillion Benghazi hearings
Food stamp cuts

But just can't fit in one war debate.- LOLGOP






Sen. Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III Doesn't Want Obama To Pull A Reagan
The Senate is poised to vote on a Republican-led measure Thursday to prohibit President Barack Obama from unilaterally granting deportation relief to any undocumented immigrant.

The "motion to table" will be pushed by outspoken immigration hawk Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL) prior to the vote on a House-passed bill to keep the government funded through Dec. 11 and let Obama arm Syrian rebels to fight the Islamic militant group ISIS.





I can just picture Sean Hannity at Sea World, screaming 'You're not being normal!' to the gay dolphins.- John Fugelsang









So Scotland gets to vote for independence, but Obama won't let Texas vote for independence? Tyranny!- Top Conservative Cat








Rock The Voter News




Louisiana May Lose Its Only Democrat Senator
Republican Bill Cassidy has opened up a 13-point lead over Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA) in a head-to-head matchup, according to a new Fox News poll of likely voters.








PARTY TIP: If you want a great poll for your Republican candidate, poll a lot of white people.- LOLGOP




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The official ballot is one line: "Should Scotland be an independent country?" And that's it. Why is it that I have to go through 18 pages of terms and conditions to download iOS 8 while a whole country can secede from the United Kingdom by checking a box that says "Yes"? - Jimmy Kimmel



Business/Tech News









GOP America: Where Religion Trumps All Laws, Even Child Labor Laws
A federal judge in Utah has ruled that a member of a fundamentalist offshoot of the Mormon faith may refuse to answer questions in a child labor investigation as a result of the Hobby Lobby ruling on birth control.




Sorry, officer. My firmly held religious believe was the light was yellow. So unless you can prove my God doesn't exist, I'm going to go.- LOLGOP







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The Dolomites, Italy.

Peace.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

LA schools police to give up grenade launchers, but will keep rifles and armored vehicle






LA schools police to give up grenade launchers, but will keep rifles and armored vehicle
Los Angeles schools’ police said on Tuesday it would give up three grenade launchers it acquired for free through a federal program now facing mounting scrutiny for supplying local agencies with military-grade equipment, the L.A Times newspaper reported.




Street gangs are toning down their colors in order to be less noticeable to law enforcement. So now there are three gangs walking around in L.A. — the Crips, the Bloods, and the Earth Tones.- Conan O'Brien








The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam





Things I still believe: Arming Syrian moderates is not smart, US combat troops are the problem in Iraq not the solution and ¿Saudi Arabia?- LOLGOP




Iran Shakes Finger At ISIS
"The killing and beheading of innocent people in fact is a matter of shame for them"

Iranian President Hassan Rouhani told NBC News’s Ann Curry on Wednesday that ISIS terrorists “want to kill humanity.”










This week Scotland will vote on whether it wants to leave the United Kingdom. If Scotland votes "yes," it will also leave the European Union and NATO and be responsible for defending itself. Or as Vladimir Putin put it, "I got dibs!"- Jimmy Fallon









ISIS at the border is mostly craven scaremongering but at least the GOP has stepped up from scaring us with starving child refugees.- LOLGOP





Republican Shenanigans



I spend most of my Constitution Day pretending that the words "general welfare" and "well-regulated" have no meaning.- LOLGOP










FUN FACT: God Always Puts Listening To Prayers At Football Games At The End Of His TO DO List
After receiving a reminder from the American Civil Liberties Union that it is unconstitutional to hold school-sanctioned prayer over the loud-speaker before football games, a group of Oneida High School cheerleaders decided to use the moment of silence to lead the fans in a recitation of the Lord’s Prayer.





FYI: The next time a Benghazi hearing will fall on Constitution Day will be every single year of Hillary Clinton's administration.- LOLGOP










Rock The Voter News





The White House today came out in support of requiring police officers to wear body cameras at all times. It’s a great way for fans to keep up with their favorite NFL players.- Seth Myers









Cruz Makes Crazy Claims About Obama. Yawn.
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) went after Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff General Martin Dempsey's responses during a Senate hearing on the Obama administration's plan to fight ISIS by suggesting the plan is essentially to send social workers to Iraq and put everyone there on expanded Medicaid.




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If Americans cared about justice Dick Cheney would be giving his opinions on ISIL via telephone interview from The Hague.- John Fugelsang




Glad To See FSU Is Addressing Crude Comments About Women. Sorta.
The reigning Heisman Trophy winner will sit out the first half of Saturday's game against Clemson. Winston shouted a lascivious comment that may have derived from an internet meme while on campus Tuesday.







Business/Tech News





My plan to create thousands of new jobs involves opening a vast network of Tattoo Removal Parlors over the next 12 years.- John Fugelsang









They Took The Money And Ran
"and like that: he's gone."

This is an actual headline from a company press release: "CEO and COO disappeared, most of the company's cash missing." (Via FastFT)
In a statement, German-based shoe company Ultrasonic said its CFO,  Chi Kwong Clifford Chan, has been unable to reach the company's CEO, Qingyong Wu,  and COO, Minghong Wu,  who apparently left their homes and are untraceable. 





Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.
- John Kenneth Galbraith









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La Jument Lighthouse, France.

Peace.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Gas production blamed for rise in Colorado, New Mexico quakes







Gas production blamed for rise in Colorado, New Mexico quakes
The deep injection of wastewater underground by energy companies during methane gas extraction has caused a dramatic rise in the number of earthquakes in Colorado and New Mexico since 2001, U.S. government scientists said in a study released on Monday.




We shouldn't frack Mother Earth. She's complaining.




So you're willing to bet the next 1,000 years of the planet that Rick Perry knows more about science than Neil deGrasse Tyson.- LOLGOP









The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam




This week President Obama gave a big speech from White House where he outlined his plan to quote “degrade and ultimately destroy” the terror group ISIS. When asked how, he said, "I’ll build their website." - Jimmy Fallon







War On Ebola
The United States announced on Tuesday that it would send 3,000 troops to help tackle the Ebola outbreak as part of a ramped-up response including a major deployment in Liberia, the country where the epidemic is spiraling fastest out of control.




President Obama announced in his speech the other night that he's sending 475 military advisers to Iraq. Not own that but he's also sending 475 military advisers to the NFL. - David Letterman







Republican Shenanigans





Everything Rush Limbaugh knows about sex comes from women who were trying not to have sex with Rush Limbaugh. - LOLGOP



What A Stupid Remark, By A Republican, Of Course.
Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) defended his proposed abortion ban this week, saying that if a pregnant mother sings to her fetus then it must be considered a person.










Domestic Terrorist Caught On Tape
Authorities released surveillance video from the “full-frontal” assault on a Georgia courthouse earlier this year by a sovereign citizen.




Reclusive Deity Hasn’t Written A New Book In 2,000 Years. - The Onion Tweet








Rock The Voter News





Bill Maher To Target GOP Rep With Comedy
The politically incorrect host of HBO's "Real Time With Bill Maher" announced on Friday he will target Minnesota Rep. John Kline, the chair of the House Education and Workforce Committee, in his "flip a district" campaign. He said he'll make repeated visits to the district for stand-up comedy in an effort to motivate voters to oust the "crummy" and "corrupt" Kline on Nov. 4.










Not only do I believe cannabis should be legalized, it should also be forcibly administered to Congress.- John Fugelsang





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What Would William Wallace Do?
Of all the many crises this summer -- from ISIS, to Ukraine, Ebola to Libya -- who'd have thought jolly old England would be on that list?

Technically, it’s the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. But for how much longer? On Thursday, after 307 years, Scotland may vote for independence and with it, potentially change the world order that has lasted since the end of the Second World War. 





It's been 4 years this week since Jack Kevorkian went to meet his customers.- John Fugelsang









I'm afraid if we don't settle on an official name for ISIS/ ISIL/ Islamic State, John McCain may end up arming one of them.- LOLGOP










Business/Tech News





British Prime Minister David Cameron went to Scotland this week to persuade citizens of the country to vote “no” on leaving the U.K. He said, “It's never worked out for anyone-well except America, and Canada, Australia, India, and . . . I'll stop talking now.”- Jimmy Fallon








Putin Sure Has His Hands Full Of Enemies
Romania's energy minister said on Tuesday Russia was playing games with gas supplies to cause concerns in EU states, after analysts warned that Moscow could use the flows to retaliate against sanctions imposed over its role in Ukraine.










Nutty: since 1990 oil prices "2% lower in month preceding a US election and 4% lower in election month itself."- Harry Shearer Tweet








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Tallulah Gorge in Autumn, Georgia.

Peace.