All Hat No Cattle

Monday, October 19, 2020

This Is So 2020: Neil deGrasse Tyson says asteroid could hit day before election

Neil deGrasse Tyson says asteroid could hit day before election

A fridge-sized space-rock is headed our way, he tweeted, one that ‘may buzz-cut Earth on Nov 2.’

Famed astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson posted a picture of an asteroid approaching Earth saying that it could strike the planet before the election on Nov. 3.

CDC Reclassifies Majority Of Covid-19 Deaths To Being Personally Murdered By Barack Obama. - The Onion

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Trump Accuses New Zealand’s Prime Minister of Competently Handling the Coronavirus to Get Reëlected. - Andy Borowitz

My Gawd, Trump Really Is A Spoiled Child In A Man Suit

President Donald Trump was in the middle of receiving a highly classified briefing on Afghanistan at his New Jersey golf club when he suddenly craved a malted milkshake.

“Does anyone want a malt?” he asked the senior defense and intelligence officials gathered around him...The malt episode, which took place a few months after Trump took office in 2017, became legendary inside the CIA, said three former officials. It was seen as an early harbinger of Trump’s disinterest in intelligence, which would later be borne out by the new president’s notorious resistance to reading his classified daily briefing

Michigan Governor Arrogantly Forcing Residents to Remain Alive. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Anybody know how Hunter Biden is doing in the polls? - Daniel Goldman

Wow. Fox News Turned Down The Hunter Biden Story The NY Post Ran
Mediaite has learned that Fox News was first approached by Rudy Giuliani to report on a tranche of files alleged to have come from Hunter Biden’s unclaimed laptop left at a Delaware computer repair shop, but that the news division chose not to run the story unless or until the sourcing and veracity of the emails could be properly vetted.

Russian family in the Russian Witness protection program

So let me get this right. The closing argument from the Trump campaign is Joe Biden is a Mr. Rogers who will listen to the scientists on COVID? - Dan Rather tweet

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HIM: Tell me your biggest fantasy.
ME: An historical landslide so massive, it's over Nov. 3 before bedtime.
- Randi Mayem Singer

Rock The Voter News

Fox to Address Coronavirus Crisis with Three-Part Series on Hunter Biden. - Andy Borowitz

Wow. Florida Company Threatens Workers To Vote For Trump.

Some employees at a Florida manufacturing company feel they were threatened with being laid off if they did not support President Donald Trump.

Daniels Manufacturing Corporation is based in Orlando. Its office displays a large Trump flag on the flag pole outside the building...Their paystubs included a letter from Daniels himself warning them that their jobs could be in danger.

"If Trump and the Republicans win the election, DMC will hopefully be able to continue operating, more or less as it has been operating lately," the letter read. "However, if Biden and the Democrats win, DMC could be forced to begin permanent layoffs in late 2020 and/or early 2021."

Imagine a world where "Pro-Life" included feeding Hungry Children. - Mo Bella tweet

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He can go to Mexico... I’ll pay for it. - Erin Brockovich tweet

Business/Tech News

Haven’t we reached the point where Trump usually just files for bankruptcy? - Nick Walden

Prepare Yourselves, Folks, The Virus Is Coming Back With A Vengeance.
“We do have vaccines and therapeutics coming down the pike, but when you actually look at the time period for that, the next six to 12 weeks are going to be the darkest of the entire pandemic,” Michael Osterholm, director of the Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy at the University of Minnesota, said.

Trump keeps promising that the solution to the virus will come by Election Day. In actuality, the solution to the virus will come ON Election Day.

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Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

Lenticular clouds at Sparks Lake, Oregon. If I were a cavewoman and saw that cloud, I'd either think it was an alien spaceship or the cloud god.

Peace.

Friday, October 16, 2020

Donald Trump Has At Least $1 Billion In Debt, More Than Twice The Amount He Suggested

Donald Trump Has At Least $1 Billion In Debt, More Than Twice The Amount He Suggested
No aspect of Donald Trump’s business has been the subject of more speculation than his debt load. Lots of people believe the president owes $400 million, especially after Trump seemed to agree with that figure on national television Thursday night. In reality, however, he owes more than $1 billion.

Joe Biden raised so much money he could pay off Donald Trump's $421 million in personal debt and still have $11 million leftover.- Tim Hogan

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Please don't call Trump Archie Bunker.

Archie Bunker served in a war and was faithful to his wife. - JRehling

Putin Is Laughing & Laughing & Laughing...

Rudy Giuliani, the personal lawyer and campaign oppo fixer for Donald Trump, has been targeted by Russian intelligence to launder election misinformation about Joe Biden

According to the Washington Post, the U.S. intelligence community made that assessment last year, and went so far as to warn the president that Giuliani could be an unwitting conduit of false or manipulated claims, with the goal of sowing dissension and chaos in the 2020 election. This alert was based on a number of different evidence sources, including intercepted communications.

Republican Shenanigans

A small point maybe, but I’m horrified that we will have to listen to Amy Coney Barrett’s voice for decades to come. - Andy Borowitz

Some Dare Call It Bribery

Omarosa Manigault Newman is currently in a pitched arbitration battle with President Donald Trump‘s 2020 reelection campaign over the former’s alleged violation of a non-disclosure agreement (NDA) covering her brief and controversial tenure in the White House.

But the 45th president’s campaign organization has offered the former Apprentice star an odd and election-oriented out: pay for a nearly million dollar ad campaign telling voters she was wrong to criticize her former boss–or, rather, to say that Trump is great, again.

Fauci Blasts Trump Campaign For Quoting Him In Ads But Editing Out Words “Fvcking Moron” - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

So, just so I follow this story:

Hunter Biden, who lives in Los Angeles, decides to fly 3000 miles across country, to drop off 3 MacBook Pros at a repair shop run by a blind guy who charges the insanely low price of $85.

He gets off the plane and drunk drives to the repair shop. - Dan Sloan

NO AID FOR YOU, CALIFORNIA!

The Trump administration has rejected California's request for a disaster declaration for six destructive wildfires that burned hundreds of thousands of acres across the state, including a massive central California wildfire that has become the single largest in state history.

In 391 CE, Roman Emperor Theodosius declared Christianity the only legal religion of Rome, & ordered all pagan temples to be destroyed. The temple of Serapis at Alexandria was completely destroyed, & with it the second branch of the library. SAME MINDSET AS OUR REPUBLICANS.
- Bette Midler

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NBC Cancels Reboot of “The Apprentice” After One Episode. - Andy Borowitz

Business/Tech News

Donald Trump didn’t debate anyone and he still lost. - Mr. Spock

Biden Won the Debate Ratings War
The dueling town halls on competing networks crowned a winner, at least ratings-wise: Preliminary Nielsen ratings estimates declare Joe Biden the victor over Donald Trump.

18 days until we begin the healing of America. - The Lincoln Project

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Have a fabulous and safe weekend, everybody!

Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

A beautiful wave dwarfed by a huge mountain in Cape Town, South Africa.

Peace.

Thursday, October 15, 2020

Trump tweets support for Republicans who installed unofficial ballot drop boxes in California

Trump tweets support for Republicans who installed unofficial ballot drop boxes in California

President Trump tweeted on Wednesday in support of the Republicans who installed unofficial ballot drop boxes in California, a move that state officials labeled as misleading and illegal.

“Fight hard Republicans,” Trump posted. “They have been taking advantage of the system for years!”

Here’s a true statement: Donald Trump’s election chances were better before he spent $1 Billion. - The Lincoln Project

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

"I turn on the television, they talked about your floods in Iowa. They talked about how Iowa is doing the crops…. 3-4 stories one after another… Where is my Nobel Peace Prize that they don’t talk about?"

-President of stupid people w/no empathy,
last night,
to actual Iowans.
- John Fugelsang

Well, This Hunter Biden Accusation Crashed And Burned
The Rupert Murdoch-owned New York Post published a series of stories on Tuesday surrounding alleged emails between Hunter Biden and officials connected with the Ukrainian energy company Burisma, which the outlet obtained from a source who met multiple times over the last year with an individual whom the U.S. Treasury Department has sanctioned as an active agent of Russia.

Trump Campaign Luring Supporters To Rallies With Offer of Free Coronavirus. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Barron was also infected with Covid, according to his mother Melania. I suppose it was only a matter of time before Donald got around to endangering one of his own children. - Bette Midler

Awww, Bill Barr Is Suing Melania's Former Advisor. How Nice Of Him.

The Justice Department on Tuesday sued Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, a former adviser and confidant of first lady Melania Trump, alleging she breached a nondisclosure agreement when she published a scathing tell-all about her experiences inside the East Wing earlier this year.

Though she only served in the White House briefly, DOJ says her non-disclosure agreement "included no termination date," a notable restriction that Winston Wolkoff is likely to challenge on First Amendment grounds.

Amy Coney Barrett Refuses To Say Whether She Is Person, Woman, Man, Camera or TV. - Andy Borowitz

My Take On Amy Coney Barrett's Catholicism

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Her type of Catholicism is not mainstream. I believe there are two types of Catholics -- the Christlike type Pope Francis represents and the unChristlike Pope Benedict represented. In other words, one is against poverty, pedophilia and child abuse and the other isn't.

The evangelicals came about for a reason in the 1600s. The Catholic leadership from Rome was similar to Trump -- gluttonously enriching themselves. Hence, a plethora of evangelicals left the Catholic Church and formed their own Christian religions. Lutherans, etc...

And now some of those same evangelicals became "evilgelicals" here in the USA at the highest levels of government going back centuries. They fought for their God to be in the US Constitution and lost. They beat slaves on the head with the Bible. They pushed to change the USA motto and won, for crying out loud. And now they literally house many GOP US Congressmen in DC on C Street for near nada. The evilgelicals own the GOP.

I had a wonderful experience in Catholic grade school and one year of high school. But I knew many who didn't around the US. One went to an all-male Catholic High School in a major city. Very prestigious. The Brothers beat the crap out of the students. Some were forced to get in the boxing ring to fight with a Brother who was a past Golden Gloves champ. Yeah, just what Jesus would do.

Guess which category Amy Coney Barrett falls into?

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Donald Trump talks more about Joe Biden’s son than he does about any of his. - Windsor Mann

Rock The Voter News

Amy Coney Barrett Silently Making List of Democrats She Wants God To Smite. - Andy Borowitz

When All Else Fails, Use The Mocking Technique!

Donald Trump mocked Joe Biden at a rally in Des Moines, Iowa as he did a bizarre impression of his rival for the White House.

Mocking the idea of the Democrat trying to make a decision, Mr Trump held his arms tightly against his body while repeatedly jerking his right shoulder upwards as if he was stopping himself from raising his hand.

If pregnancy were contagious we’d have absolutely no trouble convincing men to wear a fvcking mask. - emrazz tweet

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Business/Tech News

Oil prices are now low enough for more Americans than ever to live in their cars. - The Onion

Trump Says China Will Pay For The Coronavirus Relief Package. Yeah, And Mexico Is Paying For The Wall.

President Donald Trump seemed to say that China will inevitably pay up for America’s coronavirus relief package if fiscal negotiations with Congress ever see a breakthrough.

Just got really jealous my cat knows nothing about the election. - Kumail Nanjiani

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