First it was Canada, then the Panama Canal. Now, Donald Trump again wants Greenland. The president-elect is renewing calls he made during...
He's planning to build an empire.
Trump Says Bone Spurs Will Prevent Him From Participating in Seizure of Panama Canal. - Andy Borowitz
The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump
- Trump says ownership of Greenland 'is an absolute necessity'
- ‘Not Negotiable!’ Panama President Responds to Trump Threat to Seize Panama Canal: ‘Every Square Meter’ Is Ours
- Israel is demolishing northern Gaza and fortifying military positions, imagery shows
- Russia's Biggest Military Range Suffers Damage in Ukraine Drone Raid
- Luigi Mangione pleads not guilty to murdering healthcare CEO
Reading replies from Trump supporters on the Panama CanalI now realize Trump would have never been President if a single MAGA had read a bookLike,Any bookEver. - William Buecker
Denmark Must Be Laughing At TrumpGreenland is not for sale, its elected leader said on Monday, responding to comments made by U.S. President-elect Donald Trump regarding the "ownership and control" of the vast Arctic island that has been part of Denmark for over 600 years.
National Search Underway for Even One Person who Voted for Elon Musk. - Andy Borowitz
Republican Shenanigans
- House Republican dubs Elon Musk ‘our prime minister’
- Mike Johnson to Elon Musk: ‘You want to be Speaker?'
- Paul predicts Speaker will be ousted in 2025
- Congress avoids a shutdown but leaves 'a big mess' for Trump and Republicans in 2025
- Review by Senate Democrats finds more unreported luxury trips by Clarence Thomas
- Cardinal Dolan: Trump ‘takes his Christian faith seriously’
Mike Johnson Begs Jesus to Rapture Him Up. - Andy Borowitz
I Wonder How Many Scaramuccis This Bromance Will LastPresident-elect Trump on Sunday rejected the recent dubbing of tech billionaire Elon Musk as “President Musk” by Democrats.
Marge said she was going to expose all her Republicans colleagues if the Gaetz report came out.Well, @RepMTG. - Molly PloofkinsMusk's DOGE dept should be renamed Knowledgeable Leaders Engineering Program Transformation Oversight (KLEPTO). - Andy Borowitz
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Rock The Voter News
- Biden commutes most federal death row sentences to life in prison before Trump takes office
- Joe Manchin torches Democrats on the way out the door
- "He's no better than McCarthy": Democrats warn they won't save Mike Johnson again
The House Ethics Committee report on Matt Gaetz is everything Republicans dreamed Hunter Biden’s laptop would be. - Andrea Junker
Well, To Think Republicans Wanted To Keep This Secret.
The House Ethics Committee found “substantial evidence” that former Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz paid women — including a 17-year-old girl — for sex and used illegal drugs while in Congress, according to a long-awaited report that was released on Monday.
Restraining Order Requires Gaetz to Stay 500 Feet Away from All Human Life. - Andy Borowitz
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Business/Tech News
- The IRS is sending $1,400 stimulus checks to 1 million taxpayers. How to tell if you qualify
- Trump's 25% tariff could be an existential threat to Canada's recovering auto industry
- Costa Rica Surf Instructors Fight Back as Illegal Workers Flood Beaches
- Ford donates $1 million and fleet of vehicles to Trump's inauguration
Elon Musk's presidency will be the Cybertruck of presidencies. - Andy Borowitz
Consumer Confidence Drops. Gee, I Wonder Why?
US consumer confidence tumbled in December from the previous month amid Americans' growing uncertainty over the economic outlook in the year ahead.
Panama is going to go full MAGA: Make America Go Around. - Alex Cole
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