Senate confirms Merrick Garland as Biden's attorney general

Senate confirms Merrick Garland as Biden's attorney general

The Senate on Wednesday voted to confirm Merrick Garland's nomination to be U.S. Attorney General, handing the reins of the Justice 

At long last, Merrick Garland will be confirmed as Attorney General so he can prosecute the insurrectionists who attacked our democracy.

Today is a GOOD day.

 

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The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

• Turns Out Someone's Out Here Trying to Get Major Biden Killed for 'Nipping' Secret Service Agent's Hand
• The Queen Issues Statement on Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Says Royals 'Saddened' and Race Issues 'Concerning'
• Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene forces Congress to delay vote on $1.9 trillion coronavirus stimulus package
• House approves $1.9T COVID relief in partisan vote

Hear me out—instead of Meghan, we interview prince Andrew. and instead of Oprah, it’s the police. - Alice Vaughn

 

 When I saw the above meme, I thought, Merry Olde England, enslaved a whole island of white people, too.

It's called Ireland.

I Wonder If Don Jr. Gets His Cocaine From Honduras

An accountant witnessed meetings between Honduras President Juan Orlando Hernández and a drug trafficker in which they planned the trafficking of cocaine to the U.S., federal prosecutors in New York said Tuesday.

Assistant U.S. Attorney Jacob Gutwillig said during his opening statement at the trial of accused Honduran drug trafficker Geovanny Fuentes Ramírez that the accountant was present when Hernández allegedly said he wanted to “shove the drugs right up the noses of the gringos.'"

It must be nice that Piers Morgan gets to leave a situation when he feels uncomfortable but criticizes a black woman when she does the same. 

Qwhite interesting. - Chelsea Handler

Republican Shenanigans

• Senate GOP faces retirement brain drain
• 'This is Freedom Right Here': Giddy Fox News Host Celebrates Texas Reopening in a Diner Packed With Maskless Patrons
• 'Trash Your Mask': Rand Paul Contradicts CDC's Mask Guidance for Those Who've Been Vaccinated
• Don Jr. Makes Fun of Meghan Markle 'Looking for Attention' in Self-Produced Video Admitting He ‘Couldn’t Care Less’ About the Royals
• Venue Listed For Mike Lindell’s ‘Election Fraud’ Rally is Desperately Trying to Make Clear They Are Not Hosting It
• GOP Rep. Lauren Boebert’s Anti-Pelosi Ad Ends With A Chilling Sound Effect
• Florida Republican pushes proposal that would completely ban ballot drop boxes
• Trump Requests Mail-In Ballot After Spending Year Attacking the Practice as Corrupt

The Republican Party might as well be a Trump casino. It’s bankrupt of ideas, being run by shady characters, and fighting with Trump over the use of his name. - Jeremy Newberger

 

 

FYI: That's Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene on the right.

 

Healthcare Should Be Between A Woman And Her Doctor, Not Creepy Old Politicians.
Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson (R) on Tuesday signed into law a bill that bans all elective abortions in the state, only allowing an exception in cases of a medical emergency where the procedure is required to save the life of the mother.

If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament. - Florynce Kennedy

 

 

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QAnon Shaman Asks For Release On Grounds That Shamen Are Essential Workers. - Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

• Senate set to confirm Merrick Garland as attorney general
• Joe Biden Rips Trump Over Covid Payroll Program During Visit to Local Small Business
• Sixth Woman Comes Forward, Accuses Gov. Cuomo of Inappropriate Touching as Sexual Harassment Investigation Ramps Up
• Cuomo Bars Press from State Fair Appearance Over 'Covid Restrictions'

It’s nice to have a president who isn’t angry and hateful 24/7. - Stephen King

I Wonder Where Lauren Boebert & Marjorie Taylor Greene Were On Jan 5 Between 7:30 pm - 8:30 pm

The FBI has released some surveillance video in their ongoing investigation of pipe bombs that were placed outside the RNC and DNC offices on Jan. 5, one night before the violent riots at the Capitol.

A number of the rioters have already been charged, but the feds are still looking into who planted those pipe bombs. Weeks after the riots, the FBI said that they were planted “between 7:30 p.m. and 8:30 p.m.” on the 5th.

President Biden's dogs could bite my ass in the middle of Fifth Avenue and he still wouldn't lose my vote. - BlackKnight10K tweet

 

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Greg Abbott Announces: “Texas Is Open For Coronavirus” - Andy Borowitz

Business/Tech News

• Dow jumps 550 points to a record as bond yields fall, House passes new stimulus
• Fox News is Still the Most-Watched Network Among GOP Voters — But One in Seven Has Tuned Out
• Conde Nast Removes Saudi Arabia Sponsored Content From Teen Vogue
• Mass Layoffs Hit HuffPost Shortly After Acquisition By BuzzFeed

I love that Joe Biden doesn’t have any need to see his name on relief checks. - Bryce Tache

 

Everytime I See A Panda Express, I Am Going To Think Of This.

A former Panda Express employee said she was pressured to strip to her underwear in front of colleagues and strangers during a "trust-building" exercise, according to a civil complaint.

Jennifer Spargifiore, 23, filed the lawsuit last month in Los Angeles County Superior Court. Panda Express and Alive Seminars and Coaching Academy, a self-improvement consulting outfit that led the exercise, are named in the suit as defendants.

New York has the best bagels because you eat them while you’re in New York end of argument. - Kat Dennings

 

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Would you like to see my gutters?

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Odd News

• Meteor explodes over Vermont with the force of 440 pounds of TNT
• Impact crater beneath Greenland could help explain Ice Age
• ESPN Anchor CRUSHED on Air by Falling Set Wall, Miraculously Escapes Injury
• Amtrak worker accused of stealing, selling 77 chain saws
• Watch: Cow escapes transport vehicle en route to New Jersey slaughterhouse
• Breeder sells python with three smiley face emojis on it for $6,000

Time To Deflate Photo

Lilac Breasted Roller. I hear they are pretty mean birds.

Peace.

Biden's dogs exiled from White House after Major bites guard

Biden's dogs exiled from White House after Major bites guard

The “First Dogs” are in the dog house — for now. The pet pooches of President Joe Biden and First Lady Jill Biden were sent back to their home ...

Americans Disappointed That Biden’s Dog Leaving Washington Without Biting Ted Cruz. - Andy Borowitz

 

FLASHBACK: One Year Ago

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

• Jacob ‘QAnon Shaman’ Chansley Kept Behind Bars as Reagan-Appointed Judge Hammers His Lawyer for ‘Publicity Stunt’ Interview on ‘60 Minutes’
• Encrypted chats show Oath Keepers 'were actively planning to use force and violence' before MAGA riots: Feds
• Watch an Ice-Fishing Minnesotan Call Out Biden on CNN: Bombs He’s Dropping on Syria are ‘Kind of Expensive for a Dude Who Owes Me $2,000′

The "f*ck your feelings" crowd is sure having a lot of feelings about having to sit in jail. you know what? f*ck their feelings. - Jeff Tiedrich

 

 

Anyone Surprised That There Are Racist Professors In Alabama. Anyone?

Three professors at the University of South Alabama were suspended after they were seen wearing and holding racist symbols in photos taken at a campus event.A university spokesman verified two photos...

Republican Shenanigans

• RNC Hits Back at Trump's Cease and Desist, Claiming He Approves the Use of His Name
• Rep. Paul Gosar Tweets Creepy Meme About a Hooker and a White Nationalist Slogan
• Fox & Friends Goes All In on Criticizing Prince Harry and Meghan Markle: 'Cry Me a River'
• Piers Morgan Storms Off Set of Good Morning Britain After His 'Diabolical' Meghan Markle Commentary Gets Called Out
• New York Republicans Move to Impeach Cuomo as State AG Appoints Lawyers to Lead Harassment Inquiry
• Gov. DeSantis pulled a disappearing act last November to hide having COVID: Florida Democrat
• Kentucky lawmakers advance bill to criminalize insulting police
• Iowa GOP governor signs bill to shorten early voting, close polls earlier on Election Day
• Trump Voting By Mail For The Third Time Amid Crusade To Delegitimize Election Process

Once I was on the Piers Morgan show. He ticked off the names of several well known actors’ and asked me which ones I’d slept with. 

Still keepin it classy, huh. - Ellen Barkin tweet

 

 

The Lincoln Project Became The Lining of Pockets Using Lincoln
Ahead of the 2020 presidential election, four founders of the Lincoln Project had reportedly quietly begun setting up a new media company that the founders believed would be “far more lucrative venture” than the Lincoln Project itself, the New York Times reported Monday.

Queen Elizabeth Disappointed In New Royal Baby Boy’s Lack Of Proper Inbreeding. - The Onion

Oprah just woke up one day and was like "you know what, I'm bored. Lemme take down the British monarchy" - George M. Johnson

The Royals Just Look The Other Way. They Always Have.

Stephen Colbert went after the British royal family for being "OK" with Prince Andrew's Jeffrey Epstein ties but not OK with Meghan Markle's blackness

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Remember the people taking up for the royal family today regarding Meghan Markle. They’re all telling on themselves. They aren’t mad about the racist story. They’re mad it’s being told. They feel betrayed. Think about that. The nerve. Privilege. - Rex Chapman

Rock The Voter News

• Dems ready to leap on Biden's $1.9T Covid aid plan as final vote nears
• Biden Spox Jen Psaki Stands By First Dog Major Biden After Reported 'Biting Incident'
• Statement by President Joe Biden on the House Taking Up the PRO Act
• Greta Thunberg Whacks Biden: Not Doing 'Nearly Enough' on Climate Change
• Tyler Perry let Harry and Meghan stay in his home and use his security when the royal family stripped theirs away

Well, This Should Be Interesting
Twitter is suing Texas AG Ken Paxton, claiming he abused his power by launching a retaliatory investigation into the company after it banned Trump

I believe Anita Hill. I believe Christine Blasey Ford. I believe Cuomo’s highly credible accusers. I refuse to discredit women as Republican tools when they accuse a Democratic politician. For all of these women, coming forward requires immense courage. Put yourself in their shoes. - Andy Borowitz

 

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Business/Tech News

• Pfizer vaccine neutralizes Brazil and UK variants of Covid-19, lab study finds
• T-Mobile to share customers' web, mobile-app data with advertisers unless they opt out
• New Yorkers Mount NYC Bagel Defense After New York Times Claims California Offers Some of the Best
• Papa John’s Founder Rejects Charges of Racism By Revealing He’s Been Working for 20 Months to Get the N-Word Out of His Vocabulary

When you get your stimulus check, be sure to thank Black organizers and voters in Georgia. - Robert Reich

 

 

78% of  Covid Hospitalizations Were Overweight or Obese.
The vast majority of Americans who have been hospitalized as a result of complications stemming from Covid-19 were either obese or overweight, according to a study published Monday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Of patients hospitalized between March and December 2020, 50.2 percent were classified as obese, while 27.8 percent were overweight, according to the study. Obesity is defined as having a body mass index of 30 or more. Overweight is classified as a BMI of 25 or greater.

Meghan Markle Reveals Royals Worried Her Son Wouldn’t Have Family’s Sickly, Rancid Skin. - The Onion

 

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Odd News

• Extremely rare meteorite found in wake of spectacular U.K. fireball may contain the "building blocks of life"
• Mars Rover Landing Site Named After Sci-Fi Legend Octavia Butler
• These sea slugs can self-decapitate and grow a new body
• Teenager spends 36 hours on swing to break Guinness record
• Idaho men pass giant beach ball 4,169 times for Guinness record
• Florida bank allegedly robbed by woman in electric wheelchair: report

Time To Deflate Photo

U.S. border station between Calexico, California and Mexicali, Mexico on this date March 9 in 1929.  Ah, those were the days before the cartels ruined it all. Photo credit: AP.

Peace.

Texas governor on ending mask order: 'We no longer need government running our lives'

Texas governor on ending mask order: 'We no longer need government running our lives'

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott is opening up about his decision to end the state mask mandate, stressing that he still urges residents to take precautions, but Texans "no longer need government running our lives."

On March 10, Texas' mask order will end and businesses can reopen at full capacity...

When coronavirus spikes in Texas, I wonder what Caribbean island Ted Cruz will escape to. - Roland Scahill

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

• Biden: Pope's Iraq trip 'a symbol of hope for the entire world'
• Arrested Trump Appointee Tells Judge 'Cockroaches Crawling Over Me' in Jail After Storming Capitol
• Massive Maskless Party Devolved to Car Getting Turned Over, ‘Allegations of Violence Toward Police Officers’
• Former CDC Director Warns Lifting of Mask Mandates Is 'Very Dangerous' Right Now
• Chauvin Trial: Minneapolis Spending $645K For Barriers Around City Buildings, Police Precincts
• Rochester police release video after officers tackled, pepper-sprayed Black woman with toddler

Uprising At Capitol Called Off After Antifa Unable To Buy Enough Trump Costumes. - Andy Borowitz

 

Pope Trying To Score Some Peace Points In Iraq.

In his first visit to Iraq, Pope Francis urged Christian communities targeted for extermination by the Islamic State (IS) to practice forgiveness.

“The road to a full recovery may still be long, but I ask you, please, not to grow discouraged. What is needed is the ability to forgive...

Republican Shenanigans

• Republican House leader Kevin McCarthy posts video in protest of publisher discontinuing 6 Dr. Seuss works
• WV GOP Gov Jim Justice Slams Sen. Joe Manchin Over 'Ridiculous' Criticisms of Covid Relief Management
• Georgia Senate considers repealing no excuse absentee voting in sweeping election bill
• Sen. Barrasso backs Murkowski after Trump targets her
• DeWine defends masks as fellow GOP governors lift mandates
• Princeton debate society strips Ted Cruz of prestigious honor

Kevin McCarthy Blasts Relief Package for Failing to Address Dr. Seuss Crisis. - Andy Borowitz

 

TRUMP: It's Mine, ALL MINE!
Lawyers for former President Donald Trump sent out cease-and-desist letters Friday to the Republican National Committee, the National Republican Congressional Committee, and the National Republican Senatorial Committee for using his name and likeness on fundraising emails and merchandise, a Trump adviser tells CNN.

I must be terrible at math, because I don’t get why Biden’s $1.9 trillion aid to the poor and middle class is more economically risky than Trump’s $2.3 trillion tax cut for the rich. - Andy Borowitz

 

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Fear of being mistaken for a Republican is enough to make me wear a mask until 2030. - Middle Age Riot

Rock The Voter News

• Biden signs executive order aimed at increasing voting access
• Biden White House Fires Trump-Appointed Lawyer Who Refused to Resign in Defiant Letter
• Cuomo Says There’s ‘No Way’ He Will Resign Following New Allegations
• Manchin Stands by Opposition to Killing Filibuster But Says It Should Be ‘Painful’ to Use

GOP Accuses Biden of Spending Trillions on Left-wing Pet Project of Feeding Starving People. - Andy Borowitz

Trump's NYC Fan Has Dwindled To One
This probably wasn’t the welcome Donald Trump dreamed of ahead of his first trip home after leaving office. According to the New York Post, the former president pulled up outside Trump Tower in New York City on Sunday night—and waved to the one solitary supporter who came out to welcome him back. It’s not known exactly what the purpose of Trump’s trip to NYC is.

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Business/Tech News

• 10-year Treasury yield rises to 1.6% after Senate passes stimulus package
• Local pharmacists step up in COVID-19 vaccination effort
• Gas prices: Does it feel like you’re paying more at the pump? You’re right
• Elon Musk lost $27 billion last week

For the rest of 2021, every day is going to be the first anniversary of some lie Republicans told about COVID. - Middle Age Riot

 

 

To This Day, I Blame The Queen For Diana's Death By Taking Away Her Royal Security. She Did The Same To Harry & Meghan.
Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, said in a bombshell interview with Oprah Winfrey that her life as a British royal was so isolating and lonely at one point she "didn't want to be alive anymore" -- a stunning admission likely to rock the foundations of the centuries-old institution.

 

 

ONCE AGAIN AMERICA WILL DEFEAT THE BRITISH MONARCHY BY SPILLING TEA. - Gabrielle Cornish tweet

 

 

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I will write about the last week when the time is right.

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Odd News

• Serial car burglar broke into over 1,000 vehicles, Pennsylvania officials say
• Turkey crashes through window into California dentist's office
• Yard sale find turns out to be artifact worth up to $500,000
• Perseverance drives on Mars' terrain for first time
• Earth’s atmospheric oxygen will last for another billion years

Time To Deflate Photo

A baby giraffe is smiling at you.

Peace.