Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Dear World

White House will no longer answer questions on Trump-Russia probe
President Trump's administration will cease answering questions from reporters about the investigation into the Trump campaign's alleged ties to Russia, White House press secretary Sean Spicer said Wednesday.

Somebody's takin' this #FakeNews #Witchhunt mighty seriously.  Der Fuhrer has slammed the lid on his #TrumpBunker. - TeaPain

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Dear frightened foreign allies.
Please understand.
In many ways, America is like an old couch.
Trump is the blacklight. - John Fugelsang

The Don Will Be Next
The Luchese family's ruling hierarchy and 16 mob associates were charged Wednesday with murder, drug-dealing, extortion and gambling in a massive federal indictment.

Trump is very relieved to be back in America, where he understands what the protesters are saying.- Conan O'Brien

Republican Shenanigans

I watch pro wrestling not for entertainment, but to evaluate our next crop of presidential candidates.- Conan O'Brien

Trump's Buddy the Philippine President Gets Vulgar About Chelsea Clinton.
Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte denounced Chelsea Clinton in a vulgar speech Wednesday for her criticism of remarks he made last week about rape.

Hi, we're the NRA. We spend millions to make it easier for criminals and deranged people to get guns. Which is why you should arm yourself.- John Fugelsang

Communication Breakdown
The absence of communications director Michael Dubke might already be impacting the White House because the statements coming out of the press office seem a little off. In fact, some online critics are mocking a newly released statement as a “parody” that looks like something President Donald Trump would write himself.
“President Trump has a magnetic personality and exudes positive energy, which is infectious to those around him,” the statement from White House spokeswoman Hope Hicks reads.

Mike Pence is dreamily writing "President Mike Pence" on his spiral notebook. - Conan O'Brien


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Rock The Voter News

Comey To Testify Next Week
Former FBI Director James Comey is planning to testify publicly before the Senate Intelligence Committee as soon as next week about his conversations with President Donald Trump about the Russia investigation...

Kathy Griffin is out of a job at CNN. 
The cable network on Wednesday terminated its agreement with the comic, who for years has co-hosted its New Year's Eve program with Anderson Cooper, after a photo of Griffin holding a bloody, severed head in the likeness of President Trump went viral on social media.

Liberalism vs Conservatism:  @kathygriffin assaults fake head and loses job.  Greg Gianforte assaults real reporter and goes to Congress. - Tea Pain


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I'd like to hear a report of what Barron Trump thought when he heard his father brag about forcefully grabbing pussies. - Kara Calavera

Biz/Tech News

"Daddy, why is the world a dystopian hellhole of constant flooding & intense heat?"
"Well son, this woman had a private email server..." - Michael Cohen

With clever chemical tweaks, an old antibiotic can dole out any of three lethal blows to some of the deadliest bacteria—and give evolution one nasty concussion.

When the aliens land I refuse to be the one who explains why Kerry Washington can't legally go topless but Rush Limbaugh can. - John Fugelsang



Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

Smog alert in Los Angeles, June 1979.


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